Weekend Predictions: Dogs rebound (I think)

I wonder if this is the same absence of conflict of interest that prompted ESPN to pull the series “Playmakers” when the NFL screamed … or when ESPN pulled out of the joint project with “Frontline” investigating NFL concussions … or this couldn’t possibly have anything to do with multi-million-dollar-sponsored segments on NFL pregame shows that have caused what used to be an entertaining Sunday-morning escape, sometimes with news, to mutate into a series of 17-minute debates on whether to use Giovani Bernard over Ameer Abdullah as my flex receiver.

Yes, I just know that if ESPN could break this potential insider-trading story on a major sponsor, they would be all over it. Just like Fox and Time Warner and Comcast and Google would because, yes, the unofficial and unregulated gambling websites have suckered investors from almost every corner on Wall Street, as well as, and I’m not making this up: Jerry Jones and Robert Kraft.

Fortunately, Weekend Predictions can offer you unbiased coverage. Why? Because we don’t have any paid sponsors! Yeah! (Wait. Why am I happy?)

Hey, I just want my pregame show back. And so ends this week’s, “Get Off My Lawn!” segment. Punks.

Now, back to the remains of Georgia. The season continues, even if the expectations were run over by an 18-wheeler last week: Alabama 38, Trembling Chihuahuas 10. Georgia has had its share of disasters in Knoxville. The doggies were favored and lost in 2007 (35-14), favored and lost in 2009 (45-19), favored and barely won in 2014 (34-31 in overtime), but lost multiple limbs, effectively submarining the season.

This week, the question is: How hung over are they? They are favored by 3. This is a game I walk away from in Las Vegas. But here, I have no choice. Tennessee struggles against the run, so there’s a good reason not to let Greyson Lambert throw. Closing my eyes, but here goes: Dogs win and cover 3.

School daze

Georgia Tech (Bugs) at Clemson (Windshield): I never looked at the fine print in Paul Johnson's new contract, but does he get some kind of bonus for losing to Duke and North Carolina in consecutive seasons? Or did he just figure, "Hey, if Brian Gregory can do it, I can do it"? The Jackets have dropped three consecutive since two wins that don't really matter (Alcorn State and Tulane). Johnson has a history of ruining Dabo Swinney's day, but I'm just not feeling it. Tigers cover 6 1/2.

Arkansas at Alabama: From Nick Saban, right on cue after last week's leveling of Georgia, when asked by a media member about his belief in his team: "It's not going to be for you! The fans, yes. Because if it was up to you, we're six feet under already! We're dead and buried and gone! Gone!" And then he spontaneously combusted. Bammy covers 16.

Florida at Missouri: The Gators have to be considered the favorite to win the SEC East after upsetting Ole Miss last week. That clicking sound you've been hearing is Georgia fans going on StubHub to see how much they can get for their tickets in a few weeks. Gators cover 5.

Miami at Florida State: Miami's social-media person sent out Tweet requesting all FSU fans to post their comments on the website unsolicitedfsufancomments.com. When you click "send" on the site, the comments disappear into a hurricane. Clever. Whoever came up with that should replace Al Golden. Seminoles cover 9.

South Carolina at LSU: This scheduled South Carolina home game was moved because of the flooding in Columbia. which is the right thing to do, even though it's obvious Steve Spurrier would mandate the game be played in Kabul before Baton Rouge if he really thought the Gamecocks had a chance of winning. Blowout: Tigers cover 18 1/2.

Pros and just faking it

D.C.'s team at Falcons: The past two times the Falcons started 4-0 they went to the NFC Championship game, so consider the rest of the season a mere formality. Offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan and a bunch of other Falcons' assistants used to work in D.C. until they escaped Dan Snyder's Cuckoos' Nest, kind of like when the "Chief" threw the sink through the window and made his exit (kids: Google). Falcons cover 7.

Patriots at Cowboys: Greg Hardy is back from a suspension after beating and dragging his ex-girlfriend across the floor and throwing her on his pile of guns. This week, he cracked jokes about how hot Tom Brady's wife was, said he'd come out "guns a blazin'" in his first game and when asked if he felt any remorse or regret said, "I'm sorry I couldn't be here for my teammates." Yeah, he'll be waaaay south of here one day. Patriots cover 8 1/2.

Rams at Packers: St. Louis city officials announced a proposed naming-rights deal for a football stadium before financing for the stadium has been approved, not to mention the fact that the stadium would be empty because the Rams almost certainly are going back to Los Angeles. Does St. Louis get DeKalb's rejects? Packers win, but take the Rams and 8 1/2.

Scorecard

Lilly's Pick (Georgia at Tennessee): Mighty Mutt (4-1) has won four straight. This week, we upgraded with pieces of salami on pictures of two quarterbacks, Georgia's Greyson Lambert and Tennessee's Joshua Dobbs. Lilly went right … to Lambert. Dogs win.

Last week: 6-7 straight up, 6-7 against the line.

Bottom dollars: 40-23 straight up, 32-30-1 against the line (OK).