It’s an old joke, but one that used to play out in a lot of households: The son or daughter calls with Father’s Day greetings — and reverses the charges.
The phone gag does illustrate a basic point: Where flower shops and restaurants enjoy an onslaught of business for Mother’s Day, it’s harder to pinpoint widespread traditions to honor fathers.
Even so, here’s a safe bet for a really great Father’s Day gift: an employed child.
Of course, if you’re a dad, you should know there’s a catch to receiving this gift. In the same way that you’re more likely to receive a call from your child if you pay for it, so too are you more likely to have an employed child if you help lay the groundwork.
On the assumption that you’d like to receive this most wonderful present from your child, following are some ideas to help you influence the outcome you desire.
For preteens:
Numerous studies correlate a father’s involvement in a child’s early years with that child’s later success in everything from sports to career development. Other studies suggest that children benefit from exposure to vocational information. Which tells me that the father who introduces his children to career ideas is making a great double play.
Attention spans are limited at this age, so long conversations about career paths are not advised. But taking the kids places where they can see people working, or pointing out the work that different people do is an easy way to start developing the concept in young minds.
Age-appropriate chores and responsibilities are a hands-on way to develop the habit of working, while actual skills instruction will help build confidence. Think about all the household tasks that can be explained as you do them together: connecting a new television, repairing a leaky faucet, painting a fence, choosing and hanging curtains.
Along those lines, consider that bringing your child to work on a Saturday while you catch up on some reports can have more impact than sequestering yourself in the den to do the same work remotely.
For teenagers:
Although much has been written about today’s teenagers being more interested in texting than working, I don’t believe their desire for spending money has changed. Unfortunately, many teens are locked out of work experiences, either by the job market or because of another barrier, such as a lack of transportation.
This is a critical time to establish both the habit and the expectation of working, as well as the reward that a paycheck represents. Helping your teen to identify strengths and corresponding jobs is one way to lend a hand. I also support the impulse to “pull strings” to get your teen an interview with someone you know. In my mind, this first work experience is so critical to launch, it justifies some parental meddling.
For new graduates and 20-somethings:
Once your child is an adult, your approach needs to shift to something like “trusted adviser.” Now it’s less about influencing and guiding and more about assisting when asked and anticipating a few needs that your child may not recognize. Opening your contact list, passing forward leads in the area that your child specifies and offering Web links are all ways to assist without taking over.
For extra credit, invite your son or daughter to one of your professional gatherings and make introductions to help their networking efforts. And consider paying for professional assistance if they stay stuck for too long.
For middle-aged children:
Well, they say that your kids never stop being your kids. So even if you’re retired, that doesn’t mean that you’re not interested in your children’s careers. If you can manage to convey that interest without inspiring a sense of being pressured, you might find that your “trusted adviser” role has morphed into something even richer and more satisfying. Now you can share some of your own workplace successes and tribulations, providing a road map while strengthening the bond with your adult children.
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