If someone stood on third base at Petco Park last Wednesday and peered skyward, the sight would have been tricky to process.
On the edge of the upper deck, gopher-hating greenskeeper Carl Spackler -- in a floppy camo hat, sweat-stained T-shirt, pea-green Army jacket and boots -- wiggled his butt back and forth like a duck.
Then the character cemented into movie lore by Bill Murray in "Caddyshack" uncorked a golf shot that would have caused Charles Barkley to wince. The ball rose meekly and surrendered even more quickly, diving into the seats below and bounding around like a pinball.
Spackler, played by Conner Breen, muttered in perfect character: "A Cinderella story ..."
Welcome to The Links at Petco Park, the brainchild of the San Diego Padres and Callaway Golf, an experiment to see what happens when you throw a baseball stadium and golf course into a blender and punch puree.
The result is nine themed, par-3 holes with golf balls and laughter spraying from all corners of the park. VIPs played the layout a day before the five-day run opens for the public. What they found: Disneyland on the Diamond.
"The beginning idea was pretty pedestrian, maybe just letting fans hit a few golf balls inside Petco," said Harry Arnett, Callaway's senior vice president for marketing. Then we decided to get extreme with our thinking.
"The first five minutes is as unique an experience as there is in sports. I'd put the 1st and 9th holes up with any two holes in golf. We wanted this to be a true bucket-list experience.
"We started to map out a course and the Padres really brought it to life."
Each hole on the course is themed, including "Bad Weather Hole" No. 4 -- with upturned umbrellas and a snow machine flinging flakes near the elevated tee. The meteorological phenomenon is something San Diego hasn't seen for real since Dec. 13, 1967, according to Accuweather.com.
Hole No. 7, the "Golf Movies" hole, is where Spackler splits time with "Happy Gilmore." Hockey sticks are planted in a golf bag, allowing players to channel Adam Sandler while gripping the non-est of non-regulation equipment.
The first tee times for public golfing at Petco sold out in three hours. Two days were added from the 1,000 parked on a waiting list -- meaning 1,600 golfers will swing and smile through a one-of-a-kind tour of a Major League Baseball stadium.
The attention to smile-inducing detail is astonishing, all the way down to real sand traps and piped in audio of birds chirping and polite gallery clapping.
Give the Padres credit for embracing the goofy and wrapping their arms around the wonderful weirdness. Rather than wringing hands in worry about the outfield grass, facilities personnel re-sodded "greens" so the color and texture appeared even more real.
It's a fan-first experience that's a flat-out riot.
Jaclyn Lash, the Padres' senior manager of special events, said they've been overwhelmed by the reaction: "People are blown away."
Arnett, of Callaway, said word of the creative thinking by his company and the Padres has spread quickly. He said a number of MLB teams have been in contact about possible events, including the Texas Rangers and Boston Red Sox.
The phone also has been ringing from NBA and NHL teams, hunting for something off beat for fans.
The first tee is home plate at the Park, with a batter's-eye view of the stadium. From there, golfers walk through the heart of the Padres clubhouse to an elevator to hole No. 2.
"There's nothing like this," Arnett said. "I was nervous on the first tee and I rarely get nervous playing golf anymore, unless it's some really iconic place. But I was nervous -- and people are going to feel that.
"On that tee, looking at the pitcher's mound, it doesn't take too much to imagine someone throwing 95 miles at you."
The only thing seemingly missing at a place sponsored by a company like Petco: There's not a dogleg to be found.
Some rules are established, but not enough to threaten any of the fun. Any ball hit on the warning track or into the seats, for example, is a double-bogey. There is, of course, a 19th hole -- even without holes 10 through 18.
On No. 8, the "Candy" theme includes "Candy Princess" Morgan Manning. Golfers fill up bags of candy to carry through the concourse toward No. 9. Every now and again, Her High-Fructose Highness teed up a shot of her own.
"The wind's a factor with this hair," said Manning, pawing at her cotton candy-colored wig with a fairytale dress and silver, sparkling slippers. "But this color is totally in right now."
You both light up when she says it. No surprise, really. At Petco this week, smiles are par for the course.
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