Don’t let heartbreak become a pattern

Every now and then, we may unknowingly allow someone into our lives who doesn’t have the best of intentions. They may put on a good act for a very long time. But once they’ve gotten what they want, even if it means stepping on you to get there, they will take it and leave you behind in the dust.

If this has happened to you, please accept my sympathy.

Experiences like these can change us, sometimes forever. But they don’t have to define us. There is always a way forward. Once you’ve given yourself time to heal and recognized that you have the power to make different choices in the future, you can take steps to avoid repeating the same patterns.

If you find yourself consistently choosing partners who break your heart or leave you financially drained, then you need to make a change. It sounds simple, but old habits are hard to put to rest.

It can be difficult to change what you are attracted to, and many people who’ve been hurt again and again simply give up on love. Taking a break from relationships can be a healthy way to protect yourself while you heal. You need to take care of yourself first.

Caring friends can be especially helpful during this time. They may be able to help you recognize patterns you can’t see for yourself, keep you from repeating them and remind you that there is life beyond a relationship — and they may keep you entertained in the process.

Wanting love in your life is normal. So is being drawn to something that feels familiar, even when that familiarity isn’t healthy. If you know a relationship is not right for you, trust yourself enough to walk away.

Most importantly, don’t let one painful experience convince you that your future has to look like your past. You will get through this difficult time. Protect your peace, learn from the experience and give yourself permission to move forward.