10 tips to keep the peace with the people you love

In our everyday interactions, we all hit relationship speed bumps — the kind that slow us down, jostle us a bit, but also teach us something about life and love.

Here are some tips to help you navigate them with a little more grace.

1. Don’t try to always get your way. Not every disagreement needs a winner. If you give in on the small things, you’re more likely to get the big ones — the ones that matter more. Sometimes, people just need to feel they’re right, and it may be wiser to let them have that than to win the point. If it’s no big deal, let it go.
2. Lend a hand. One of the best ways to help someone who’s overwhelmed is to offer assistance before they have to ask. It’s hard to be cordial when you’re stressed, and your loved one may not be able to hide how they’re feeling.
3. Learn to compromise. They should insert this word into marriage vows. Being willing and able to do it is what keeps you connected, even when you don’t see eye to eye.
4. Commit a random act of kindness. It doesn’t have to be grand. A small, heartfelt gesture can go a long way. Think of it as a deposit in your emotional bank account. Your loved ones will notice the effort, even if they don’t say so right away.
5. Don’t yell. A couple of decades ago, I got into an argument and yelled loudly enough to rattle the dual-pane windows. That was a strong enough sign that I was over the top. I corrected my behavior, and I haven’t yelled since. Sometimes, recognizing when you’ve crossed the line is the first step toward changing how you handle conflict.
6. Don’t ignore your own baggage. When you recognize a pattern that’s hurting your relationship, don’t ignore it. Do what you can to correct it. If you need help, get it. Left unaddressed, those issues can slowly wear down the people you care about.
7. If a loved one is feeling down, cheer them up. When someone you care about is having a tough day, a little encouragement can go a long way. A quick conversation, a kind word or a hug may be all it takes to help them feel a little better.
8. Be willing to change plans. If you’d planned on dinner or a movie and your partner wants to stay in, let it go and stay in. There will be other nights.
9. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Minor annoyances are part of every relationship. If something bothers you, address it calmly and directly rather than letting it build into resentment.
10. Say “I love you” more often than not. A simple “I love you” can go a long way, especially when someone is having a difficult day. Sometimes, hearing those three words is exactly the reassurance someone needs.