It’s time for schools to have ‘the talk’ with students about police stops

People know me as a retired corporate senior vice president, political activist or as a columnist. But I did not start out that way.

I was stopped a dozen times in my early teenage years, sometimes for driving while being a Yankee in my small Georgia town. But usually, it was my fault. In high school, I lost my driver’s license for driving 100 mph on Ga. 41.

As a high school senior, I was arrested and convicted twice of misdemeanors for littering (throwing beer bottles out of a friend’s Corvette) and disturbing the peace (pushing kids from another high school into a fight). On a couple of other occasions, police let me off for minor infractions.

I looked and acted like Fonzie. My wife, a rural Georgia peach and the love of my life, rapidly changed that for the better after we got married (at the ripe old age of 18). I could never have achieved what I did without her. I am a very different person than I was at 16 when my family and I moved to rural North Georgia from the New York City area.

It also helped I come from a law enforcement family. My favorite female cousin retired from the FBI while my closest male cousin is a retired corrections officer.

My favorite uncle ran a NYPD precinct in Brooklyn. He was a big, tough, stereotypical Italian cop — extremely intimidating. From an early age, I learned not to mess with police. When I was stopped, I said, “yes, sir,” “no, sir” and nothing else. Thinking about my uncle, I buried the tough guy act.

But what about the kids who do not have that background?

When a teenager gets their driver’s license, freedom comes with a new level of responsibility — and for many parents, new worries. One of the most important talks a parent can have before handing over the car keys is how to interact with police during a traffic stop. Black families sometimes refer to this as “the talk.”

But this conversation often happens in fragments — rushed, emotional or filled with misinformation.

David Klepinger, managing partner of the Traffic Stop Bootcamp, has come up with a six-point framework to follow when interacting with police officers. Georgia high schools would do well to offer this course to driver’s education students and others.

1. Staying safe — not winning the argument — is the goal. So do not argue.
2. Have your driver’s license, registration and proof of insurance up to date and easily accessible.
3. Pull over to a safe, visible area and roll down your windows, turning off music and keeping your hands on the steering wheel during the entire traffic stop.
4. Be polite, be brief and don’t overexplain. Say: “I’m not comfortable answering that question” if personal questions are asked.
5. You can politely refuse a search unless the officer sees something suspicious (like a beer can).
6. Some officers are biased, aggressively asking overly personal questions, attempting to provoke you. Do not take the bait; stay calm and tell the officer you are recording the stop. You can also tactfully get the officer’s name and badge number.