We all know — or have heard of — that one teacher. You know, the one who insists on doing things their own way. Maybe it’s the veteran who’s been teaching longer than you’ve been alive and sees no need for advice. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s the teacher who seems like they just don’t like your child.
As both a former educator and a parent, I understand how frustrating this can be. But I also believe there’s a productive way to handle these conflicts.
Credit: Contributed
Credit: Contributed
Contact the teacher
When an issue arises, always reach out to the teacher directly first, via their professional school email. Request a phone call, follow-up email or in-person meeting. Even if a teacher has shared their personal number, it’s best to keep things official when serious concerns come up.
Leave the gloves at home before the meeting
It’s easy to be emotional when it comes to your child. But go into the meeting with a clear goal. Take notes ahead of time so you can stay focused and avoid getting sidetracked by emotion. Be specific, using dates and details rather than vague statements like, “You always do this to my child.” Teachers manage dozens of students daily; concrete examples help provide clarity.
The teacher is not automatically the enemy
It’s natural to want to defend your child, but approach the situation with curiosity, not accusation. Say things like, “It was brought to my attention that …,” followed by, “Can you help me understand what happened?”
If your child was in the wrong, own it. Try not to say things like, “They don’t do that at home.” Instead, focus on reinforcing expectations: “At home, we emphasize ____, so they may be confused if it’s different at school.”
If your child misunderstood a rule, you might say, “I don’t think they realized that was the expectation, but now that we’re all on the same page, they’ll make the adjustment.”
End with a plan
Always close the conversation with a solution-oriented mindset. Ask, “How can we move forward to prevent this from happening again?” This gives both the teacher and student a shared responsibility and opens the door for you to suggest additional support if needed.
When a conversation isn’t enough
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, communication with the teacher doesn’t lead to resolution.
If the issue continues — or the teacher is unwilling to engage — reach out to a school administrator (e.g., the principal or assistant principal).
If things escalate further and there’s still no resolution, here are your next steps:
1. Contact the district office
Reach out to the district superintendent or director of student services. Every school is part of a district with an overseeing office. You can find contact information for these officials on the district’s website.
2. Speak with school board members
Elected school board members represent your area and help oversee district operations. You can email them directly or attend a public board meeting to voice your concerns during the open comment section.
3. Reach out to the state Department of Education
For serious unresolved issues — especially those involving discrimination, civil rights violations or special education concerns — contact your state Department of Education. They handle formal complaints and district-level conflicts.
4. Seek advocacy or mediation support
In some states, you can access a parent advocate or education ombudsman to help mediate conflicts. If your child receives special education services, organizations like Wrightslaw or your local Parent Training and Information Center can guide you through your rights and next steps.
Helpful tips to keep in mind
Document everything: Save all emails, meeting notes and communications.
Be specific: State your concerns clearly and propose what resolution you’re seeking.
Stay calm and professional: No matter how emotional the issue, professionalism strengthens your credibility. Conflicts with teachers can be frustrating, especially when it feels like your child is misunderstood or mistreated. But with a thoughtful approach, clear communication and firm boundaries, you can advocate effectively — without burning bridges.
Remember: The goal isn’t to win a battle. It’s to ensure your child gets the education, respect and support they deserve.
Elicia Royal lives in Atlanta with her four children. Being a mother with a child who has special needs, she tries to form a bridge between educators and parents through her advocacy work.
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