The gifts that job search gives

The holidays are coming to a close, the splurge of gift-giving and well-wishing and general merry-making almost finished for another year. For those seeking work, and those who have recently completed the same project, some of the most interesting gifts are unlikely to be found among the ribbons and tattered wrapping paper.

I’m talking about the gifts that the process of job search gives to the job seeker. Before I name these presents, however, I need to distance myself from a very common thing that people say to those who have lost a job: “You’re going to look back and see that this was the best thing that could ever happen to you.”

Back in the early 1980s, when I was laid off from a job that I loved, people hadn’t begun saying things like that to job seekers. The cheerful, can-do attitude of the self-help movement hadn’t yet seeped into the world of job search, and those of us seeking work mostly felt a grim determination instead of the hopeful anticipation of better times.

But surely the hopeful feeling is a good thing? I say yes to that, which is why I can’t explain my objection to this cliched but mostly harmless phrase. I just know that it spurs the same gut reaction that I used to get as a kid when adults would say, “You’ll look back on these years as the best years of your life.” Even as a teenager, I had enough wit to know there had to be something better than high school. And I liked high school.

So that’s my disclaimer: I don’t really think that most people look back in gratitude for finding themselves out of work. But on the other hand, I hear stories nearly every day from people who have grown from their transitions and from the job search itself, and who tell me they have received unanticipated gifts from the process. It seems like a good time to tell you some of the gifts that job search gives.

• A renewed (or brand-new) feeling of confidence and resilience, born from the realization that job loss is a survivable event.
• New friends and relationships, which can be especially important during a time when other friends inexplicably fall away.
• The ability to forgive others more easily and to be less judgmental, having now experienced this very difficult situation.
• The accumulation of new skills, such as networking and letter writing, despite a natural reluctance to learn them; the understanding that even unappealing tasks can be mastered.
• A chance to hit the reset button on a fading career or to switch away from a mistaken career path; the opportunity to leave a dying field before it's too late.
• An opportunity to retrain and learn new work, often with the funds set aside by government programs for those who have been laid off.
• The courage to start a business, which would have been difficult to justify leaving a job to do.
• Time to spend with family members in need, especially when someone has fallen ill and needs the time that is suddenly available to the unemployed worker.
• A chance to get off the merry-go-round of work-home-family and simply explore goals and options. Likewise, the opportunity to renew past disciplines, such as physical fitness, or to create new practices such as community service and spirituality.