The Dez Bryant jersey that was $159.99 is marked down to $95.99. Why not just make it $88? Or, even better, make it $8.8.
The Dallas Cowboys' favorite eX is now fresh on the scene, and he's swiping left, and swiping right. Bryant is hittin' it on Bumble, Tinder, Match, Silver Singles, Farmer's Only or any NFL dating app that will line up him with a new love of his life ... that will guarantee marital bliss, but really will be lucky to go beyond Year 1.
There are many facets to the Cowboys' divorce of Bryant, including now where he goes next. To hear Bryant talk, or tweet, he thinks he's going to land on an NFC East roster, just so he can stick it to his ex — El Diablo, coach Jason Garrett — twice a year.
Bryant, forget your least favorite red head and move on. The Cowboys have already marked you down, and moved on.
The only priority for Bryant should not be going to a team that plays the Cowboys twice a year, or his "second-favorite" team, but merely the one who pays the most. Football is about to be done, and Bryant has to start preparing for life after ball.
As he just learned, 'ball don't care and it is a cruel business. The only priority for Bryant now should be to get paid, to take care of the money, and to start preparing for life after football.
If that means going to Cincinnati, so be it. If that means Cleveland, go to Cleveland ... although, just typing that hurts.
When Bryant signed his five-year, $70 million contract in July of 2015 one of the worst kept secrets was that he was out of money. He had spent the bulk of his rookie contract that was worth $11.8 million.
Jerry personally was a bit more involved in that contract, partially in an effort to set up parameters to protect Bryant against himself, and from blowing a deal that included $45 million guaranteed.
How anyone can blow that type of wealth is a great mystery, but there are so many examples of former multi-millionaire jocks who spend every dime of their money the tale has become a cliche.
Hopefully Bryant has learned from his previous financial behaviors. No one wants to read another story of any player who had it all, and then didn't lose it, but blew it. Who blew it on stuff. Those stories are not funny.
There are enough particulars about Bryant that make him vulnerable to becoming that cliche.
In talking to one veteran NFL observer, he thinks Dez must go to a team with a strong head coach and a quarterback who commands respect everywhere. That narrows the list considerably.
According to the nerdnet, the Arizona Cardinals, Baltimore Ravens, Buffalo Bills, and Green Bay Packers are on the short list of Dez suitors.
There is some talk of Bryant wanting to go to the Oakland/Las Vegas Raiders. Not happening.
New/old head coach Jon Gruden didn't get along with Keyshawn Johnson when they were paired in Tampa. Gruden just cut one of the best punters in the NFL, Marquette King, because he was flamboyant.
Baltimore might not be a bad choice. Ravens GM Ozzie Newsome is as good as any in the game and coach John Harbaugh has won a Super Bowl. The Ravens squeezed out three quality years from Anquan Boldin after he turned 30. They did the same with Steve Smith after he turned 35 (No — Bryant is not is good as either of those receivers).
Yes, the Ravens have a Joe Flacco problem but, at this point, Bryant has to make do.
And if his list includes GB, and the money is the close, Dez has but one choice: To buy a pair of ice skates, a space heater, and play at Lambeau.
Watching Bryant catch passes wearing the green and yellow would be unusual, and an odd coincidence considering his most famous "catch" came at Lambeau Field, but Green Bay is his best option.
Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers is one of the few men alive who can make Bryant young again. Both Rodgers and head coach Mike McCarthy have enough cred Bryant will know his place the moment he steps into the locker room, sideline or huddle.
Rodgers, who was limited to seven games last season with a broken clavicle, is 34 and should have three to four years remaining of high-quality production. He is one of the most accurate passers in NFL history, and he can make any receiver look good.
The Packers cut Jordy Nelson, who was 32, this offseason and added a poor man's version of Rob Gronkowski, Jimmy Graham. From a football stand point, Green Bay is Bryant's dream destination.
At this point, however, Bryant's priority should not be the green and gold of Green Bay but merely just green and white.
