Parents’ advice to college freshmen should encourage them to evolve and grow

As the college year begins again, I am reminded of how some simple and effective parental advice can influence a freshman’s journey.

Millions of freshmen will begin their college journeys across the 6,000 colleges and universities in the United States.

From mid-August to early September, parents will help their children settle in and give one last bittersweet goodbye. In those moments, before that crucial final hug or wave, I urge parents to remind their children of the incredible opportunity that awaits them.

Encourage them to pursue any goal, any aspiration. The start of college marks a powerful moment of transition, full of possibilities.

Plant the seed so that they can become a new person if they wish.

Perhaps offer them a few words of wisdom.

Quote the great transcendentalist Henry David Thoreau to go “confidently in the direction of (your) dreams, and … live the life which (you) … imagined.”

Or share Ralph Waldo Emerson’s words: “The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.”

College allowed me to challenge and reinvent myself

I believe a well-executed college career lays the groundwork for a lifetime of personal and professional growth.

Credit: Emory Morsberger

Emory Morsberger. (Courtesy)

That was certainly the case for me.

When I entered Emory University, I had a deep desire to reinvent myself.

I was a nerd growing up. In high school, I was so shy I couldn’t even summon the courage to ask a girl to prom. I never went. I was an Eagle Scout, and I took that quite seriously, but I was not a leader … not a “go-getter.” I just wanted to be.

It struck me, as I looked ahead to college life, that this was a rare and precious opportunity. In this new environment, I could become anyone.

I envisioned the person I had always dreamed of being — a person more outgoing, ambitious and driven. Motivated by this newfound purpose, I set an ambitious goal of becoming class president. I exceeded that dream, serving as president of the College Council in my junior year.

That is why I’ve been motivated over the years to pass this along to others.

I told my college-bound daughters they could pursue a new path

I remember the day I took my seventh daughter, Jamie, to Georgia Tech. While I knew I would miss her, I was filled with excitement for her opportunities that lay ahead because of my own personal experience.

On our drive to campus, I felt compelled to share some advice. I wanted her to understand that she could become anyone she wanted to be — that she had the power to leave her old self behind and pursue a new path.

Offering her that perspective helped ease my mind, and I believe it gave her a foundation of confidence and enthusiasm as she stepped into her new world, independent of daily guidance from her mother, Janet, and me.

I shared the same message with each of my daughters as they began their freshman year.

Today, my daughters have become successful role models and mothers themselves, passing down the same values of support and belief in their children’s potential.

Self-confidence will serve students well now and in the future

I’ve shared this beyond my family: in conversations with friends, at Rotary Club and church meetings. The message seems to resonate with people. Time and again, parents thank me for reminding them of the powerful opportunity to inspire their children as they begin their freshman year.

Here is what I recommend saying to your own incoming freshman: “I want you to explore what the world holds for you and to learn everything you can, not only in your classes but within yourself.

Reach out. And as the old saying put it: “You only have one chance to make a first impression. So put on that smile and believe in yourself. I am so proud of you. I love you, and Mom and I will always be here.”

The attitude of self-confidence I cultivated during my freshman year has sustained me long beyond graduation. I want this for all students attending college for the first time this year. I’m sure there are quite a few who, like me, have parts of themselves they would like to change. Perhaps there is a person they wish to be but feel they cannot, for fear of being rejected or unsuccessful.

Before your children leave your care, do your best to describe the wonderful opportunities ahead of them: opportunities for reinvention, lasting friendships, new experiences and different perspectives.

While saying goodbye, urge your child to embrace this new chapter boldly, without fear.