In a world full of headlines about adult domestic violence, it is no wonder dating violence impacts our teenagers. If our kids do not see it at home or experience it firsthand among their peers, they hear about cases like NFL player Ray Rice knocking his future wife unconscious on an elevator. Despite the outrage we express about such situations, many teens get the idea this type of behavior is normal.
Sadly, domestic violence is an epidemic in our culture. In its most recent domestic violence report, the Washington-based Violence Policy Center ranked Georgia 9th in the nation for the number of women killed by men. According to loveisrespect.org, one in three teens will experience some type of dating violence — physical, sexual, verbal or emotional. As DeKalb County Solicitor-General and the mother of two young daughters, I find this unacceptable. We must do more to protect our teens.
Last year, my office prosecuted 27 cases of misdemeanor teenage dating violence. Two involved strangulation; one, statutory rape, and two, knives. We believe more cases were not reported and that too many teens and parents make the mistake of believing, “It can’t happen to me.” Unless we intervene, tragic consequences are often the outcome.
So what can you do to help?
Watch for warning signs. Speak up if you see someone being abused, and never hesitate to seek assistance.
Warning signs for teens may include a partner’s extreme jealousy, constant criticism, telling them what to do, efforts to isolate them, pressuring them to send inappropriate photos or engage in sexual activity, monitoring their cell phones or email without permission, an explosive temper and/or physical harm. Since teens may not speak up, parents should watch for changes in their teens’ behavior — avoiding friends and family, falling grades and/or dropping out of activities.
Violence tends to escalate in abusive relationships, no matter what apologies and promises are made to the victim. It is also important to be aware the most dangerous time in these relationships often comes when a victim tries to break up with the offender. If you are in danger, our Special Victims Unit can connect you with community resources and help you develop a safety plan for leaving an abusive relationship.
I hope you will help us spread the word about preventing dating violence. My goal is to stop abuse at the misdemeanor level before our teens become victims of more serious felony abuse, and before they choose to stay with their abusers long-term.
Unfortunately, we see many cases of domestic violence where the couples started their relationships as teenagers. If someone you know is a victim, always call 911 if there is immediate danger. If there is not immediate danger, please call the Love is Respect Helpline at 1-866-331-9474 (8453 TTY) or text “love is” to 77054.
Sherry Boston is the DeKalb County Solicitor-General.
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