• A pantless man called DeKalb police from a hotel on Wesley Chapel, saying he'd met a young lady from Canton in an online chat room and things went downhill from there. He met her at a room in the hotel, but as soon as he took his pants off three armed men sprung from the bathroom and took his pants, wallet and 2004 Jaguar. The foursome was arrested days later in Gulfport, Miss.
  • A Louisiana woman on Spring Street told Atlanta police she wasn't wearing any pants because she'd defecated in them and she'd rather go to jail than put them back on. She got her wish.
  • Want weed with that? A Glenwood Road flea market vendor was arrested for offering an undercover DeKalb cop marijuana while selling him a bootleg copy of "Redbone Booty."
  • A Cobb County woman reported the theft of her dog after the man she'd ask to look after the pet while she was on vacation never returned it. The man offered to pay her $600 for the "lost" terrier.
  • A tenant who paid an Atlanta landlord $4,320 for an apartment but was never given a key waited nine months before filing a police report. I guess it's because the money came from a "grant" and not his wallet.
  • An Atlanta woman who moved into a Park Drive apartment complex got a call from Discover asking if she'd applied for a new card. She said 'no.' The credit card company gave her the number of the man who called and asked them to send a card to unit 1504. The phone number turned out to be the same as apartment's "leasing consultant." The woman went to his office and found a folder labeled "Social Security Numbers" and mail addressed to Apartment 1504, which has been vacant for two years.
  • Sleep soundly Atlanta, one of the area's most notorious sock dealers was jailed after a foot chase. The street haberdasher had just made a $2 sale, police said.
  • A man who'd been driving around partying ran out of gas at the intersection of Cascade Road and Veltre Circle and left his car "parked in the grass." He was too hung over to return to the vehicle the next day, he told police. Car thieves must have gas cans and low standards, 'cause that's who police think took the 1987 Chevy Caprice.
  • A salesman at a Marietta car dealership is charged with theft after taking two SUVs and a Camaro and selling them for $10,000 to a man on Moreland Avenue in Atlanta.
  • A Lenox Road woman heard a knock at her apartment door and looked out the window to see a young man dressed all in black scampering away. Moments later she heard a noise emanating from the back of her home. She went to the bathroom and saw the man's leg dangling through the window. Her scream scared the sandals right off him. They were still in the tub when police arrived.
  • A 17-year-old Decatur resident was jailed after telling a security guard near the Georgia Department of Juvenile Justice that he would "murder his [bleep]."