This is a roundup of recent crimes of note in Cobb County. It is based on arrest warrants, police reports and jail records. At this point, these are allegations by law enforcement.
‘Grab the mask! Where is it?’
A Smyrna woman was arrested for allegedly stealing about $6,000 of fire fighting equipment from the Smyrna Fire Department.
A police warrant claims the woman stole the equipment from the front of the fire station “while yelling obscenities” on Feb. 1.
She bonded out of Cobb jail the next day, records show.
A regular Baptist joy ride
A Marietta man allegedly tore up the yard of a local church by doing doughnuts in his car.
A warrant said the Marietta man was “destroying landscape” at Labelle Heights Baptist Church, 2237 Olive Springs Road.
Cops wrote that there were three children in the car at the time.
Jail records show he bonded out the same day.
That doesn’t go there
As of Monday evening, records show, a Marietta man remained behind bars after allegedly trying to sneak at least 30 grams of drugs into the jail in his anal cavity.
The man faces four felonies for drug distribution.
He had five grams of marijuana, 23 grams of cocaine, about a quarter gram of heroin and seven Oxycodone pills inside of himself, according to the warrant.
20 dead fish and a felony
A Woodstock man faces felony charges after allegations of shoving his girlfriend and breaking a fish tank in Cobb with a brick.
According to a police warrant, the man has been dating a juvenile — neither his nor her age were listed — for a year and had been living together two months.
On Feb. 6 at Mazzy’s Sports Bar & Late Nite Grill, he allegedly shoved her face into a wall, leaving a large red mark on the left side of her face, the warrant said.
The document also said the man destroyed the girl’s fish tank and “caused 20 fish inside to perish.”
The officer wrote that the water also ruined the young woman’s laptop, four of her school books and her bedframe.
Cobb jail records do not show that the man has been arrested.
Too fast, too furious, too bad
After two hours in Acworth jail, a man bonded out after allegedly flashing a fake gun at another driver and driving while intoxicated.
That’s according to the off-duty Kennesaw cop who wrote up the warrant.
This happened about 4 p.m. on Feb. 7, the warrant said.
The cop wrote that the fake gun looked real when the man showed it while improperly changing lanes and almost causing an accident at Cobb Parkway and Jiles Road.
The underage man tested positive for alcohol in a breath test, the warrant said.
Get a room!
A man and a woman face public indeceny charges after a cop allegedly found them canoodling in car parked in the Macy’s parking deck at Cumberland Mall.
A patron saw them and notified mall security, according to a warrant.
When the cop came up to the white 2014 Land Rover, the woman was under a blanket trying to put her shirt back on.
The man told the officer that he and the woman “had been engaged in a health coaching session,” the warrant said.
The woman told the cop that it was what it looked like.
They both spent several hours in Cobb jail Feb. 5 before bonding out, records show.
Forget Patriots versus Eagles
A Kennesaw woman was arrested for allegedly hitting and biting her husband after she got drunk during the Super Bowl.
She bloodied her husband and pulled her children by their hair during the game, which was between the Philidelphia Eagles and the New England Patriots.
Police didn’t know what set her off, but jail records do show that her place of birth is Massachusetts.
In other news...
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