Holiday TV commercials show scenes of picturesque, snowy neighborhoods, beautifully decorated trees, bountiful meals and rosy-cheeked children with eyes aglow.

Do things look like that at your house? They don’t at mine. Where are the scenes of frantically cleaning the guest room, rushed grocery shopping and wrapping gifts at midnight on Christmas Eve? Every year, I vow that this holiday season will be simpler, slower, more meaningful and fun — you know, the way it’s supposed to be.

Thanks to some time-saving, stress-relieving ideas from my friends, I’m getting closer.

Holiday greetings: My friend Linda taught me that a picture is worth a thousand words. Instead of a family newsletter, she sends a card with an 8 1/2-inch by 11-inch page of four or five digital family snapshots. Short captions tell the highlights of her family's year at a glance.

Unless you can write witty poems about your children’s accomplishments, say it with photos.

Downsize the holiday party: Social gatherings are one of the best things about celebrating the holidays, but it doesn't always have to be a formal dinner party. Everyone's busy at this time of year. My friend Kirsten invites people to drop in on a Saturday morning for coffee, juice, muffins and pastries.

The gathering is easy-going, festive and it fortifies everyone for the shopping, decorating or cookie-baking planned for the rest of the day. You don’t even have to polish the silver.

Stick to core traditions: No matter what else you add to your schedule, always buy or cut your tree and decorate it together as a family. Sometimes we invite friends on the spur of the moment. It's that tradition — and all the memories and in-jokes that surround it — that puts us in the holiday mood. We put that date on the calendar first and work everything else around it.

My friend Sue invented elves that come from the North Pole to check on her four children during December. The imps come when the kids are asleep and play tricks like mixing up school bookbags or tossing sofa pillows around. Sometimes they leave notes or small treats — all to remind the kids that this is a special time of year, and that Santa is watching.

Keep meals simple: When you need to be at church by 7 p.m. on Christmas Eve, that's not the best time to cook a turkey and all the trimmings for 12 people.

I speak from experience here. My friend Eve always serves soup and cornbread that night and saves the big meal for Christmas afternoon or evening. Soup is just as nourishing, and the cook is merrier. Besides, it leaves more room for cookies and eggnog after church.

Play some games: Group games like Trivial Pursuit or Cranium are great for breaking the ice with relatives or entertaining keyed-up kids. My daughter's best friend, Erin, 24, plans a game night and gag gift exchange to catch up with old high school buddies during the holidays. You're never too old to play.

Wishing you all a healthy and happy season.

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