Sideline Chatter: Rams coach Fisher might get mouth washed out with soap

"When I hear 'Jeffrey!' it's uh-oh _ something went wrong."

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Hit the showers

From the You Just Can't Make This Stuff Up file comes word that Wednesday's Twins-Astros game in Minneapolis was rained out _ on Umbrella Night.

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Olympic quiz

Chinese swimmer Chen Xinyi _ the first athlete to test positive for a banned substance at the Rio Olympics _ blamed it on swallowing:

a) Turtle soup

b) Cough medicine

c) Some green pool water

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Paging Myron Floren

Starling Marte was walking around the Pirates' clubhouse Thursday playing an accordion.

Probably not the squeeze play his teammates had in mind.

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Faster, higher, straighter

Great Britain's Justin Rose scored the first hole-in-one in Olympic golf history at the par-3 fourth hole during Thursday's first round in Rio.

But rumors that Rose's tee shot bounded in off a sofa could not be immediately confirmed.

Just call him LaBrinks

The Cavaliers and LeBron James agreed to a new 3-year, $100 million contract.

And if you think that amount is eye-popping, you should've seen the subtotal before they subtracted the hometown discount.

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Talko time

_Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, on BYU's 6-foot-7, 425-pound recruit: "To give you an idea how big college football players have gotten, he's a punt returner."

_Headline at TheOnion.com: "Michael Phelps spots estranged father Poseidon in stands."

_Blogger TC Chong, on beach volleyball players wearing either 1 or 2: "So have the other 97 numbers been retired?"

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Leaving their mark

Best teenager alibi ever, thanks to our Olympic swimmers: "That's not a hickey, Dad! That's just my new cupping therapy."