Prison life ain't sweet. But prison cookies?
Even a man tough enough to rush for 2,000 yards in a 14-game season could not resist their delectable allure.
O.J. Simpson, whom you may recall from a little trial in the last century, has been caught stealing from the prison cookie jar, reports the Daily Mail.
The 66-year-old Simpson, who once bypassed NFL linebackers like they were fat prison guards, was unable to sneak by lunchroom sentries at the Nevada lockup he currently calls home.
According to the article, guards noticed turgid inmate #32 had something under his clothes as he returned to his cell. Upon inspection, the heist was exposed, cookies tumbled to the floor and Simpson’s new teammates laughed at him.
“O.J. just stood there with a goofy grin on his face as the guard kept digging inside his shirt and throwing the cookies on the floor,” said an anonymous source in The National Enquirer, so who knows if this actually happened.
Simpson, who now suffers severe diabetes, was let go with just a warning. He continues to serve a 33-year-sentence for robbery, but will likely be released on parole in 2017 or shortly thereafter … if he can stop his thieving ways.
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