Tramaine Miller's 12-year-old son cries every time he comes close to his father's face, swollen and full of bullet fragments.
Miller said his 2-year-old is scared to hug his injured daddy.
On Friday, Miller talked about the changes in his life since being shot in the face last month by an off-duty Atlanta Police officer. It was the first time he had spoken publicly since being released from the hospital last month.
Miller now lives in constant pain, worries about looming medical expenses, and has postponed his wedding. And he questions why the officer shot him that night.
Officer Reginald Fisher has been suspended without pay, police said Friday.
Fisher was arrested May 29 on charges of aggravated assault, aggravated battery and false imprisonment for shooting Miller.
Fisher was initially on paid administrative leave.
"I've talked to the district attorney's office and they have no answer about why he fired the shot," said Mawuli Mel Davis, Miller's attorney.
Miller said he stopped to drop off medicine to his quadriplegic aunt at the City Views at Rosa Burney Park apartments on Richardson Street on May 6.
Fisher, who was working off-duty as a security guard there, fired at Miller as he walked back to his car, according to Fulton County District Attorney Paul Howard Jr.
Fisher initially identified Miller as "suspicious," according to a police report. Fisher said he ordered Miller at gunpoint to raise his hands, then saw Miller reach beneath the seat of his car, the report said. Fisher fired once at Miller.
The bullet struck Miller's face, breaking his jaw and shattering in his cheek. It ruptured the main artery in his neck, causing a blood clot, memory loss and spinal problems, he said.
"I was just trying to get back home. I had ordered our favorite pizza from Papa John's," Miller said Friday as he sat on his couch with his fiancee.
Miller spent three weeks at Grady Memorial Hospital.
He returns to Grady on June 17 to have his jaw reconstructed, but the bullet fragments will remain in his face.
"It's too difficult to remove all the pieces," said the Rev. Derrick Rice, one of Miller's pastors.
Miller said he can barely hear, has trouble talking, can't remember much and is in constant pain.
"When I go to sleep, it replays in my mind," he said. "It changed my life in two seconds."
Doctors are unsure if Miller will ever regain feeling on the left side of his face, be able to remember everything or chew on his left side.
"I miss steak, potatoes, fried pork chops," he said.
Miller's attorneys said they anticipate filing a civil lawsuit, but are waiting for the district attorney to complete the criminal investigation. Fisher remains free on a $35,000 bond.
"We have concluded that at the time of the incident, Officer Fisher was acting in the capacity of a private security guard attempting to make an armed arrest of Mr. Miller without sufficient probable cause or legal justification," Howard said following Fisher's arrest.
According to records obtained through the Georgia Open Records Act, Fisher's disciplinary file shows only an investigation for gun usage.
But no details are available because the file refers to an open case.
Fisher, 40, had been with the police department for 17 months and on the street for less than a year.
Records obtained from the Atlanta Fire Department, for which he previously worked for 17 months, showed an acrimonious departure. Fisher resigned without giving adequate notice, just days before starting at Atlanta's police academy.
Miller said he is unsure when, if ever, he will be able to return to his job as a cook at Mrs. Winners' Chicken & Biscuits.
For now, his fiancee Jerkina Everett struggles to pay the mortgage on the couple's southwest Atlanta home, car payment and other bills. He temporarily stopped paying child support for his boys.
Miller and Everett have postponed their wedding, and she said it seems a long way away. She's too busy working to pay the bills and caring for Miller, including cleaning his wound and changing the bandages daily.
"He's worth it," she said.
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