The soda bread recipe that carried me through tough times

I remember the way my 2-year-old son’s anguished cries ripped through me.

We were standing in a grocery store checkout line, the kind designed to test you. Candy at eye level. Small toys within reach. Bright, irresistible things placed there on purpose because someone somewhere knows exactly how hard it is to say no to your kid when you’re already exhausted.

He had a Hot Wheels car in his hand. Turning it over, studying it, already attached to it in that immediate, uncomplicated toddler way.

It cost $1.99.

I held it for a moment and looked at my son, his face bright with expectation. I felt the weight of it, not in my hand, but in my chest, as I calculated what I would have to take out of our cart to buy it.

Then I put it back.

The way his face instantly changed from happy to hurt makes my throat tighten even now, so many years later.

Financially, that was one of the toughest times of my life. I had a $70 grocery budget for the week. Formula was about $20. Diapers were another $20. That left about $30 for food. For both of us. For a whole week.

About $4 a day.

I knew exactly what $4 a day looked like in a grocery store.

It looked like standing in front of a loaf of Dave’s Killer Bread and doing the math twice, even though I already knew the answer. Five dollars for bread meant eggs, milk or flour — ingredients that stretched our meals further — didn’t go in the cart.

So the bread stayed on the shelf and I figured out how to make a quick loaf of soda bread for about 70 cents.

Soda bread isn’t fancy. There’s no yeast. Just flour. Baking soda. Salt. Buttermilk. That’s it.

It comes together quickly and doesn’t ask much of you, which is good because sometimes there isn’t much left to give.

Senior AJC Food Editor Monti Carlo makes soda bread with just flour, salt, baking soda and buttermilk. (Monti Carlo/AJC)

At first, soda bread was just something I could afford to make.

But I remember pulling a loaf out of the oven one day and pausing for a second longer than usual. The kitchen was warm and smelled of toast. The crust was a pale gold, cracked just enough. I had made it with my own hands out of almost nothing.

And in that moment, something shifted just enough to feel like maybe I wasn’t as stuck as I thought I was.

Years later, I made that same soda bread for Gordon Ramsay on “MasterChef.” He tasted it, smiled softly and told me he loved it.

And standing there, in his kitchen, with TV cameras 3 feet away from me, I wasn’t thinking about bread.

I was thinking about distance.

The distance between that checkout line and Gordon Ramsay. Between not being able to buy a $1.99 toy and being seen, really truly seen, for something I created.

This easy recipe for soda bread produces a fresh-baked loaf in about 45 minutes. (Monti Carlo/AJC)

When I’m at the grocery store now, I see a lot of the same quiet math that made me put that Hot Wheels back.

The pause before something goes into the cart. The way people double back down an aisle. The random, out-of-place item on a shelf indicating a sacrifice was made.

If you’re feeling uncertain and things seem heavier than you can carry, you’re not alone.

I also know this: that feeling doesn’t last forever.

You are getting stronger, even in your smallest acts. In the way you keep showing up even though times are hard. In the way you are carving a life out of what you have, even if it’s something as simple as a loaf of bread.

This soda bread recipe isn’t going to fix everything. But it will give you something warm. Something you can count on. Something you made yourself.

And sometimes, that’s enough to get through today.

And then tomorrow.

And then the day after that.

Until one day, you look up and realize you’ve made it further than you thought you would.

Keep going.

Monti Carlo cuts into a fresh loaf of soda bread. This recipe isn’t going to fix everything. But it will give you something warm. Something you can count on. Something you made yourself. (Monti Carlo/AJC)

Soda Bread

This simple soda bread comes together quickly with just a handful of ingredients and no yeast. The result is a sturdy, lightly tangy loaf with a crisp crust and tender crumb. It’s the kind of bread you can rely on when you need something warm and filling without much fuss.