‘Teen takeovers’ signal the need for deeper, more meaningful connection

The Atlanta Beltline became a crime scene this weekend when a large crowd of teenagers showed up at the 700 block of North Avenue for what is known as a “teen takeover.”

Police arrested more than a dozen people and recovered 10 firearms.

A takeover happens when teens organize through social media apps like TikTok, Discord or Instagram; descend on public spaces and capture it all on their phones while gaining attention online and often, in real life. The resulting chaos is meaningful in the world of social media algorithms, where more disruptive behavior is likely to get more attention.

Last month, teens flooded the Battery, resulting in 17 arrests. Police are considering charges against the two 17-year-old organizers.

Other takeovers were rumored to be in the works at Six Flags over Georgia, and adventure parks in McDonough and Kennesaw. At Cumberland Mall, officials recently enacted a curfew and increased police presence as a preventive measure.

Last month, a large group of teens gathered at the Battery near the Aloft Atlanta hotel, leading to 17 arrests. (Courtesy of The Battery Atlanta)

The takeovers, some have suggested, are the result of teens not having safe, structured places to hang out. But the gatherings are also an example of what happens when bored, lonely kids respond to a culture in which high visibility makes them feel relevant and the attention they get online is social currency.

America has lost the kind of civic engagement that once allowed us to connect with one another and to feel as if we are part of something bigger. So many of us feel unseen, unheard and unwanted, both professionally and personally. Public health experts have said we are experiencing an epidemic of loneliness, and youth aged 13-17 report the highest rates of any other group.

In her new book, “Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose,” Jennifer Breheny Wallace concludes that mattering — the value we feel in connecting with each other and making a contribution to the world — is a basic human need that is no longer being met.

“As a culture we talk about loneliness and the rise in anxiety or the rise of burnout and disengagement that workplaces are seeing, as if they are all separate issues but in my mind, they have a core that is running through them and it is this unmet core of mattering,” Wallace said when we talked by phone.

When we feel valued by our friends, family, colleagues and community and when we can add value ourselves, we show up in positive ways. But when our sense of mattering is out of alignment, we may act out to prove that we matter by being rude, uncivil or engaging in desperate attempts to bolster a feeling of importance.

Mattering used to be baked into everyday life, Wallace said. We organized ourselves around friendships. We talked to our neighbors and asked them to feed our pets when we went on vacation. We worked at companies for a lifetime and were rewarded for our term of service with a pension.

“We miss this deep attention we used to give each other. This has happened over the course of several decades as we have become more self-reliant,” Wallace said.

It is easy to blame technology for reducing connection, but Wallace believes the gurus of Silicon Valley have made connection seem too easy. We no longer appreciate the effort it takes to build a meaningful connection to another human.

To feel as if we matter, we need to feel the significance of being remembered in small ways that make us feel seen. We need to feel appreciated not just for the things we do but for who we are. We also need people in our lives who champion our success so that we feel that someone else is in invested in us and we need to have people in our lives who depend on us.

“Can you bolster a sense of mattering without all four? Yes, but if you focus on those four things it gives you direction,” Wallace said.

It takes action to regain a feeling of mattering when we have lost it, she said. That might include issuing or accepting invitations from others that allow you to show up and enjoy real connections with other people.