A more memorable bathroom experience?

Atlanta-based Georgia-Pacific, maker of Quilted Northern toilet paper, wants to offer a more substantial brand, and so is introducing “Quilted Northern Rustic Weave,” with the motto: “craft you feel in every square.”

"Authentic," says the tongue-in-cheek video. "Bespoke. Raw. Artisanally-crafted toilet paper. Hand-pulped. And hand-perforated. The way toilet paper used to be."

Rustic Weave will roll out on Georgia Pacific’s Facebook page Friday (which is, ahem, April Fools day) and in other social media, offering a stimulating alternative to the bland experience at the American commode. “It’s genuinely tree-to-toilet,” says the announcer.

The Onion-worthy kicker to the video tells us Rustic Weave is “also available in Small Batch, Cedar Loom, and Extra Virgin Birch.”

No word yet on whether they plan a Long Leaf Pine variety.

About the Author

Keep Reading

Steven Simmons, 57, is facing charges of concealing the death of another person and tampering with evidence, police said.

Featured

Carter Blalock, 6, runs through the splash fountain at Riverside Park Splash ’N Play in Roswell on Monday, June 23, 2025. (Natrice Miller/ AJC)