Police (Off)Beat | Forging a path to jail

When the card of a man who ran up a $14,859 bill at the Marriott Marquis in downtown Atlanta was declined, a security officer noticed his wallet was stuffed with a cornucopia of credit. The man, who babbled "incomprehensibly" for 20 minutes, told police he was born in 2001 and was working with a "group of Nigerians" adept at forging cashier's checks. He had $180,000 in bogus paper on him.
A DeKalb man who tried to cash a forged Four Seasons Inc. check at a Dunwoody bank fled when the teller started asking questions. He left his real ID behind and was soon captured.
An assistant manager at a Cobb Goodwill store is charged with theft after falsely telling her employer she had been subpoenaed to appear in court for a period of 10 work days.
A regular at a Doraville liquor store was busted trying to cash a bogus $820 check. He told police he got it from "three guys in the parking lot" who also provided a fake ID. Too bad for his liver that he'd cashed personal checks there before. His real photo ID was in the store's computer system.
A gunshot victim left a Decatur hospital and immediately proceeded to shoot up the Hopewell Lane home of his alleged assailant with a .40 caliber handgun. He'll continue to recuperate in the DeKalb jail.
A 16-year-old Stone Mountain girl that assisted in the carjacking and robbery of a woman who'd stopped for gas on Briarcliff Road was busted when police recovered the stolen the Honda Pilot. Inside, police found the victim's cellphone, which contained a video of the girl calling the victim a "stupid [bleep]."
Undercover officers spent about $500 on lap dances and drinks while investigating "illegal prostitution" at an Atlanta club.
A woman an undercover Cobb officer met online offered to have sex for $150 at a Parkwood Circle hotel. Another woman, at the same hotel, charged $125.
A Georgia utility appears powerless to stop "A.J.," an Atlanta man who charges a mere $5 to reconnect electrical service at homes in the Greenbriar Mall area.
Atlanta police beeped at a literal streetwalker impeding traffic on Joseph E. Boone Boulevard, causing her to yell "I am sick of you [bleepers] blowing them [bleep] horns." It is quiet in jail, maybe.
A man pulled over for speeding down I-75 was acting nervous, so police brought in a drug-sniffing dog. The man got more nervous when the dog immediately began tearing into a laptop bag containing $17,000 in cash. Another case contained 8 ounces of marijuana.
A copper thief tearing apart an AC unit on Peachtree Avenue would have gotten away with it, if he'd not paused to "sniff Freon" in the presence of children. A nearby adult alerted police to the suspicious behavior.