By George Mathis
March 3, 2011- A gun-toting Smyrna motorist pulled over by police for having tinted covers over his license plate claimed to be an undercover MARTA cop. He held up a walkie-talkie and said "See, I've got my radio." Sensing real cops aren't that dumb, the real Cobb County police officer asked for a badge number and called MARTA, but someone there said the man was employed as a radio technician. He was arrested for impersonating a police officer and possession of a firearm during the commission of a crime.
- A Powder Springs man who wanted to be a police officer learned you can be arrested for claiming to have a GED when don't.
- An Atlanta man called police to say he was drunk and "disoriented" and sitting in his Volvo at the Burger King on Metropolitan Parkway.
- It's hard to smoke in jail when there's a working smoke detector, which explains why a Cobb County inmate got in so much trouble for ripping the device from the ceiling of cell J144.
- A Douglas County Carmax bought a 2007 BMW from an ace forger. When the car dealer tried to get a clear title, they realized the car was being sought by a bank for repossession.
- An Acworth Due West Road resident paid a man $10,500 to resurface her driveway in the dark. The next morning she realized he had not done the work. I'm betting he found a 24-hour check-cashing service.
- A man who found a "delivery job" online told police his new employer mailed him a $3,600 check and told him to cash it at his bank, keep $400 for himself and mail the balance to an address in Texas. The second time he tried to cash a check his bank told him the checks were made of rubber.
- A Sandy Springs woman was told, via e-mail, that she had won the $125,000 grand prize in a Wal-Mart contest. She was told she first had to mail a $2,900 check to London (that's nowhere near Bentonville, Ark.) to pay for taxes and claim the prize. She sent the money via Western Union.
- A man was transported to Grady Memorial Hospital with stab wounds after an uncle-nephew knife fight over a floral arrangement.
- Domino's 30-minute guarantee was foiled when a Douglas County gunman forcibly removed a large single-topping pie from the delivery man's person.
- A naked burglar found in the ceiling of Newton County Middle School was given a fashionable jail jumpsuit.
- An imperfect Cobb County husband was arrested for simple battery after making the "insulting" gesture of throwing a beer on his wife while she was driving. She stopped the vehicle and tried to dial 911, but he grabbed her cell phone and fled.
- A Roswell Road man returning home saw his front door had been kicked in, but didn't notice anything missing. He walked to the apartment manager's office to report his door problem, but when he returned his PlayStation 3 was missing.
- A Sandy Springs woman moved her belongings into an apartment, but spent the night at her old place. When she returned, her possessions were missing. She found another new apartment.
- Someone's nanny allegedly took $500 in gift cards from her employer. The nanny's daughter was busted using one of the cards at a Marietta Target.