• New warning label: "Smoking may be hazardous to your criminal career." In Cherokee County, a smoker left a pack of cigarettes at a burglarized business. Prints on the package led to the arrest of a 21-year-old Ellijay man.
  • Perhaps credit cards should come with warning labels too. Police were able to look at surveillance video in a Gwinnett County Chick-fil-A to determine which customer made off with another customer's Apple laptop. The bad guy's receipt is blazing a digital trail for investigators.
  • If you're a cab driver, be warned: Atlanta police are on fashion patrol. On Piedmont Road, a taxi driver was ticketed for not tucking in his shirt.
  • An Atlanta police officer is suffering through his neighbor's "psychotic episodes." She allegedly bangs on their common condo wall with a rubber mallet at all hours. Another police officer visited the woman and warned her to cool out, but instead of using a mallet, she now stomps on the floors and slams doors as loudly as possible.
  • A man told police his smartphone was stolen from where he left it atop a urinal at a Kennesaw bar. He told police he got "busy" in the bathroom and forgot about leaving the phone behind. Police used the phone's GPS to track it to the "second trailer by the pool" at Castle Lake Mobile Home Park.
  • A 26-year-old Decatur man plotting an impromptu vacation misunderstood the "Smoking Area" sign at the downtown Atlanta Greyhound Station. He was arrested after lighting a joint.
  • A woman attempting to enter federal offices in downtown Atlanta told the security officer running the X-ray scanner that the mysterious object in her purse was "only a bag of weed," but she went to jail anyway.
  • Someone with 200 Xanax and Oxycodone pills had the courage to report the robbery of their rolling (and unlocked) pharmacy to Cobb County police.
  • An iPad and a roll of toilet paper was stolen from Century Crest Apartments near Kennesaw.
  • A 56-year-old woman (who is 7 months pregnant) told police she did not use a gun to run off a woman selling "pills and food stamps" in front of her south Moreland Avenue-area home.
  • A Jonesboro Road man reported his "baby momma" hit him in the head with a brick, which sounds bad until you learn she had a knife in her other hand.
  • A female employee of the 5 Guys burger shop on Northside Drive became irate when confronted with allegations of theft. Among the items she destroyed was a large ketchup dispenser and a glass 5-gallon pickle jar. The restaurant had to be closed for cleanup. She was last seen spitting on her former boss and walking down 10th Street.
  • A gaggle of women who brought their own drinks was asked to leave Blake's on the Park. One of the women, when asked to leave, told an off-duty Atlanta police officer to "suck a [bleep]," which generally leads to trouble. The officer was verbally assaulted by a "very aggressive group of females" but managed to pry the most foul-mouthed one off the patio railing and handcuff her.
  • Solar power may be taking off near Wilwat Drive in Norcross, where several vehicles were denuded of their 12-volt batteries.