By George Mathis
Aug 25, 2011- A 38-year-old Decatur woman is in hot water for stealing a water heater from a foreclosed home. She cut herself in the process and a real estate agent noticed blood in the home's bathroom sink, which police used to make a DNA match.
- Police investigating a suspicious person at a foreclosed Bankhead-area home encountered a "sovereign citizen" who said he'd changed the home's locks and could not be arrested because "taking ownership of vacant property is not a crime." Police proved him wrong. On him, police found many keys and a digital camera with pictures of more empty Atlanta homes.
- A Smyrna woman was charged with battery after visiting her ex-husband in a Cobb hospital and attempting to strangle his current girlfriend.
- A man returning to his Memorial Drive apartment heard whispered voices intone "Hurry up, he's here." Two laptops, a Wii and a Beyonce concert DVD had been spirited out the back door and he suspected his young neighbors. Sure enough, police found the purloined goods, and a "sandwich-sized" bag of weed, next door. The teens said they were "holding the stuff for TayTay."
- A 22-year-old Clarkston man told police he let a man use his van, but did not expect to be repaid with the stolen goods found on his porch.
- An Atlanta man called his girlfriend and broke up with her after reading unflattering posts she'd made about him on Facebook. She managed to show up at his Piedmont Road home, kick the door down and reclaim some personal belongings before police arrived.
- A Buckhead bar patron kicked a valet in the groin and shouted "I want my [bleeping] car" before vomiting repeatedly in the back of a police car.
- A Smyrna man whose license was suspended for failure to pay child support was also charged with "abusive words" after saying "[Bleep] you crackers" during his arrest.
- DeKalb police arrested a 53-year-old mechanic who'd received more than $10,000 in electronic checks from national trucking companies for roadside repairs he never made.
- An Atlanta man reported his Porshe stolen, but police told him it had actually been repossessed. Then they carted him to jail for an outstanding Gwinnett warrant.
- An Atlanta woman told police she'd sold a 2003 Dodge to another woman for $1,000 -- $500 up front and $500 to be paid later. Later never came, of course, and the woman tried to repossess the car. The owner of the body shop where she found the Intrepid told her she could have it if she paid the $2,200 repair bill.
- Two Kennesaw women were charged with drug and tampering with evidence charges after trying to flush syringes used by a friend who overdosed on heroin.
- An Atlanta man who wasn't feeling super in his Lois Lane home called an ambulance. When he returned, his neighbors had lifted his TV and cable box.
- A 32-year-old Decatur man has a green thumb and high power bills. The ex-con was busted for growing marijuana in his Kensington Road home.
- A Stone Mountain man was jailed for selling drugs to undercover DeKalb police. The 20 ecstasy pills he sold were fake, but the 2 ounces of weed he dealt was legit.