Why are we so angry?

A 39-year-old mother goes onto the soccer field and slaps the referee during a game in Forsyth County. A man fires three shots at another driver during morning rush hour on 1-285 near Langford Parkway. And four teens are accused in the stomping death of another teen named Bobby Tillman.

The incidents, which occurred within days and weeks of each other last month, are a reflection of what seems to be growing discontent among many Americans who feel battered by a down economy, increased crime and jobless rates.

Pessimism about their standard of living and growing anti-establishment feelings, some say, account for many of the hair-trigger reactions being played out in homes, on freeways, at sporting events and in businesses across the country.

"This is the angriest generation I have ever known, and I'm 78 years old, " said the Rev. Charles Stanley, pastor of First Baptist Church of Atlanta and host of the "In Touch" radio and television programs, which appear on numerous Atlanta-area stations.

Although anger in and of itself isn't inherently bad, he said, handled the wrong way it can produce devastating results, both for the person who is angry and those around him.

"It wrecks lives, destroys marriages, wounds children, separates friends and causes disunity in churches, " Stanley said.

He examines the issue in his latest book "Surviving in an Angry World, " (Howard Books; $24) and maintains that the key to dealing with anger lies in understanding its origin and responding appropriately.

"Anger doesn't die out, " he said. "It must be rooted out."

Finding the root

To her credit, Lea O'Neal has searched her heart and found politics at the root of her anger. She is angry because floodwaters left her home uninhabitable. Angry because she feels too many elected officials in Atlanta are not responsive to the needs of their constituents. And angry because she thinks President Barack Obama has failed to listen to the suffering of the people he swore to protect and defend.

She deals with it, she said, by first turning to her faith and then writing letters.

"Some people pick up weapons and hurt someone or hurt themselves, " said O'Neal, 56, from Atlanta. "As a person of faith, I pray. I write letters because the pen is mightier than the sword."

Mark Johnson, an advocate for people with disabilities, has found himself on the receiving end of anger, talking often with people who are feeling helpless and powerless but express it as frustration and anger.

The complaints he hears range from " ‘my route on MARTA is about to be cut' to ‘the place I'm living is not safe' to ‘I can't make ends meet.' "

"I hear a lot more frustration than I did a year ago, and that's when I have to step back and look at the broader culture, " said Johnson, 59, of Alpharetta, director of advocacy at the Shepherd Center.

Johnson said he saw seeds of discontent sown around the time that former House Speaker Newt Gingrich initiated his so-called "Contract With America" in the mid-1990s.

"At that time, I think we began to see true partisanship that all of the sudden led to no compromise, " Johnson said. "The gap between the haves and have-nots started to grow and a lot of people lost touch. ... you could also see this growing stress. ... [Now] we're no longer one."

Handling anger

Not everyone perceives the nation as so angry, however.

Joseph Dougherty, a professor of religion at La Salle University in Philadelphia, certainly doesn't.

"I don't live with people who are angry or deal with students who are angry, " Dougherty said. "Students are happy. They feel some stress but I think they're content. I'm very lucky and blessed to be in an environment where these young people feel hope, energy, ambition."

That sense of hope and ambition, he said, also extends to his colleagues.

"Some days are better than others, but I don't see them as angry, " Dougherty said. "You could say that some people are angry some of the time. I have flashes of the emotion but I don't think it's my basic stance to God or the universe."

According to Stanley, because we all experience flashes of anger, "the question is not if we will feel anger but whether we will handle it in a way that honors God."

It's important first to consider the origin of angry feelings, he said.

Most anger stems primarily from feelings of loss: for instance, the loss of a home or of retirement savings, or a broken relationship, and the feeling that there isn't anything one can do about it, he said.

When he came to First Baptist in the early 1970s, he said, a group of men grew angry at him when it became obvious he would succeed the former pastor of the church.

It was then, Stanley said, that he learned a valuable lesson: "To see everything as coming from God."

"When you do that it just sets you free, " he said. "If you get angry and start defending yourself, you'll act the way they want you to act."

Understand, forgive

Anger can take two forms, Stanley said: righteousness or its opposite.

"Unrighteous anger ... is self-centered and expressed in destructive ways, " he said.

Kristen Vincent, 43, of Canton said she unwittingly found herself in an angry mix when she objected to the hatred being spewed during the recent election in a Facebook posting.

"Two of my friends got into such a heated discussion over my post that they became nasty to each other and I had to delete it, " she said. "I was really amazed by that."

Such hostility makes us disagreeable, argumentative and easily offended by minor incidents, Stanley said.

That can distort one's character, damage relationships and spread to those with whom we work and live, especially our children, who are prone to develop similar patterns of behavior.

When feelings of anger bubble up, Stanley said, people should ask themselves why they are angry, why are they responding the way they are, and choose to forgive no matter what.

"Knowing the source helps us know how to respond, " he said.

Getting past anger

Anna Maravelas, a psychologist, says research shows we humans are "wired" to overestimate threats and underestimate opportunities. "Nervous, anxious, vigilant genes were more likely to get passed on, hence negative experiences are five times more powerful than positive, " she says.

But the Rev. Charles Stanley, author of the book "Surviving in an Angry World, " says most of our inner turmoil is the result of not getting our own way, and offers a spiritual path to inner peace.

"When people don't cooperate with our plans or don't appreciate our efforts, or when events don't work out our way, we feel anger, " he says. "Unless we deal with it quickly and bring our responses under submission to God and his word, we give the devil opportunity to work in our lives -- twisting our thinking with lies, suggesting justification and excuses, stirring up hatred, inciting a desire for revenge and planting seeds of bitterness."