Remember Stephen Garcia, the overgrown frat boy and former South Carolina quarterback who was suspended something like 37 times by coach Steve Spurrier (expect, coincidentally, always in a non-game week because of Spurrier's keen sense for timing)?
Well, I'll recap Garcia's failed attempts at professional football shortly. But first, let me share with you what he's doing now.
Ready?
Here goes . . .
I'll resume when you stop laughing.
Still waiting.
Still waiting.
OK . . .
Thanks to alert reader @MelissaRabb1 on Twitter for bringing this to my attention: Garcia, who managed to party his way out of a potentially great college career and possible pro job, is now breaking down games for the college football blog site, Saturday Down South . I went back and found a news story of his hiring in June, carried by The State newspaper's online South Carolina page, GoGamecocks.com. A snippet:
Saturday Down South on Sunday revealed via Twitter on Sunday that it was bringing Garcia on board later in the summer. SDS did not say exactly what Garcia's role will be, but it was suggested he will provide analysis for the site.
Analysis might be stretching it.
As we see in this episode, Garcia wears a poncho and sombrero and, in his politically incorrect-best/worst accent, says, "Hello folks. I'm Stephen Gracia. And I'm going to take a siesta on all these games because there's no good games this week."
He's right about the schedule. But otherwise his breakdown reflects his work ethic on the field. So there's one more reason why the only place to come to for solid financial advice is Weekend Predictions! (Shameless cross-promotion. And I don't want to talk about the Texas A&M game.)
Garcia threw for 7,597 yards at South Carolina. But he ultimately was kicked off the team before his senior season for multiple acts of stupidity, most of them involving alcohol. Among them: Showing up at a life skills event, after already being on double-secret probation, smelling of booze and making a buffoon of himself.
In his last five games with the Gamecocks, Garcia had four touchdowns and nine interceptions. He wasn't drafted by any NFL team in 2012, so he went where most head cases go: to Canada. He signed with the CFL's Montreal Alouettes but spent most of the season on the injured list and was released after a year.
According to this story , Garcia somehow injured two fingers while flashing the peace sign while getting off the team bus. (I really don't want to know.)
Garcia's CFL experience lasted one year. Then he signed with Tampa Bay of the Arena Football League last January. But his strange evolution went like this: reassigned-suspended-reassigned-assigned-reassigned-suspended. (Again: I really don't want to know.)
I'm not sure exactly where things stand now, but given the poncho and sombrero I'm guessing the next stop will see him dancing in a dog costume in front of a pawn shop.
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