Me, I'm a bit concerned. Alarmed, even.
Back in 2011, Donald Trump dispatched a team of his own, top-notch private investigators to Hawaii. (He only hires the very best, you know.) Their patriotic mission: To boldly uncover the facts surrounding Barack Obama's place of birth, probably "one of the greatest cons in the history of politics and beyond," in the words of our steadfast Mr. Trump.
From what we were told, those investigators were very successful.
"They cannot believe what they're finding," our heroic Mr. Trump reported back to us, promising that "you'll be very surprised. ... At a certain point in time I'll be revealing some interesting things."
So we waited for that "certain point in time". And waited. Here it is, more than five years later, and those investigators still have not been heard from. In fact, they seem to have vanished off the face of the earth, almost as if they had never existed, almost as if our brave Mr. Trump had just made them up to see how foolish and gullible his followers could be, as if he determined that they could be very foolish and gullible indeed, you wouldn't believe how foolish and gullible, so foolish and gullible they would even vote for him for president.
So you see why I'm worried:
I'm worried that those investigators got too close to the truth, and have paid the ultimate price. Did black helicopters with a Soros-funded DNC hit squad aboard swoop down on their hotel room in Waikiki and spirit them away, along with all the evidence that would expose Obama's true origins? And since their families have never reported them missing, were those families also made to "disappear"? Are they out there in some prison limbo, along with other missing Trump associates such as John Barron and John Miller?
It's just too horrifying to imagine.
The good news is that even after Obama's alleged "official" birth certificate was released in 2011, our courageous Mr. Trump continued to drop hints that his investigators were still out there, somehow evading their captors and occasionally getting to a phone for a brief update.
Others may have considered the thing settled, but not our stubborn Mr. Trump:
And yes, as the extremely credible Mr. Trump also showed us, the coverup was massive and deadly, so massive and deadly you won't believe how massive and deadly:
(Personally, I suspect Rafael Cruz, Ted's daddy, might have had something to do with that health director's assassination. He has experience in such things, and well, I've heard people saying that, anyway.)
Up until this very morning, even with his own campaign staff saying otherwise, our dogged Mr. Trump was still refusing to cave, still refusing to disappoint his faithful by publicly saying that yes, Obama is a natural-born citizen.
But -- and I really hate to tell you this -- even our indomitable Mr. Trump may have his limits. There are signs of cracking resolve ... rumors of surrender to political correctness and the mainstream media. There are reports that our tenacious Mr. Trump will give in to the pressure by finally saying that yes, Barack Obama is as American as any of us and has been all along.
Why the capitulation? I don't know. Maybe he got scared and doesn't want to meet the same fate as that Hawaii health director, as his investigators. But what I do know is this:
"One of the greatest cons in the history of politics and beyond" continues.
UPDATE:
In his mea non culpa, Trump is attempting to shift responsibility for the "ugly" birther spectacle to Hillary Clinton and other Democrats. So let's deal with that claim, which has no more validity than the original birther claim.
During the 2008 primaries, with Obama building a lead against Clinton, two fringe figures on the Democratic left with no ties whatsoever to the Democratic Party or the Clinton campaign tried to raise the issue of Obama's status as a native-born citizen. Their effort went nowhere, apparently because Democratic primary voters are not fertile ground for baseless, ridiculous conspiracy theories.
No one believed it, no one picked it up.
Once Obama won the Democratic nomination, however, the seed was planted among the Republican base, where it has sprouted like Jack's magic beans. In fact, it continues to be a test of loyalty within the GOP. As recently as July, more than 70 percent of Republicans told NBC pollsters that they believed that Obama was not a citizen or were uncertain of his birthplace. Fewer than three in 10 said they accepted his status as a native-born citizen eligible for the presidency.
The Trump campaign is also claiming that Trump deserves credit for pushing Obama to release his birth certificate and end the controversy. Again, the tweets above and other similar statements from Trump came AFTER the release of the birth certificate, AFTER it was supposedly put to rest by Trump himself.
"One of the greatest cons in the history of politics and beyond" continues.
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