There are some lists that the civic boosters don't really want Atlanta to be at the top of.
Say, best cities for potholes that will ruin your car’s suspension. Or best places to catch malaria. Or maybe, the nation’s top-ranked cities for pickpockets.
Or, perhaps, most sinful cities.
So if you are concerned about the vaunted Atlanta image, you might hold your breath a moment when you see today's ranking of the nation's sinful cities by the list-frenzied folks at WalletHub. They looked through a series of metrics that seemed like clues to a town's capacity to nurture the Seven (well, however many) Deadly Sins – from jealously to lust, from laziness to gluttony, from gambling to – well, you get the idea.
Of course, Las Vegas is number one, but where is our fair town?
Mercifully, Atlanta is a relatively respectable 33, not exactly the purest of the pure, but nowhere close to being a candidate for Nastytown, 2016.
On the other hand, we are awfully close to the top – NUMBER THREE behind Vegas and Portland, Oregon of all places – in the share of adult-entertainment establishments, also known as strip clubs.
And we also scored really darned high on plastic surgeons and beauty salons.
What does that mean? Are we at least a decent mix of naughty and nice?
Among the categories that WalletHub used:
— Anger and Hatred. Per capita, how many violent crimes? How many sex offenders? How about the suicide rate? (Atlanta’s rank, 76th).
— Jealousy. Per capita, how many thefts? How much fraud? (Atlanta: 9th).
— Excesses and vices. How about the percentage of obese adults? The rate of excessive drinking and percentage of smokers? Number of drug overdose deaths? (Atlanta: 113th).
— Avarice. That would be about casinos and charitable donations, as well as people with gambling disorders. (Atlanta, 134th).
— Lust. Potential cheaters, as measured by the number of Ashley Madison users per capita. Then there’s the share of adult-entertainment establishments and active users of Tinder. (WalletHub tosses in the teen birth rate too. (73rd).
— Vanity. We’re looking at per capita numbers of beauty salons, tanning salons and plastic surgeons. (Atlanta, 7th overall, but number one on beauty salons and number nine on plastic surgeons).
— Laziness. Like the share of adults who don’t exercise, the volunteer rate, number of hours worked. (Atlanta, 54th).
So there we are, according to the no-doubt semi-scientific rankings. Respectable in an unrespectable way. Or maybe it's vice versa.
Well, they may not mind if lots of event planners know this when they make plans for which city to put their conventioneers and their wallets, but gee, it’s not really what you want to publicly tout as the image of a business and family-friendly city.
You know, ‘What happens in Atlanta stays…’
Nahhhhh.
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