Nurse’s tips to help a co-worker struggling emotionally

Nurse burnout is hardly a secret, especially the past couple of years. For Diana Page, ACNP-BC, an outpatient neurology nurse practitioner and founder of Selfcare Catalyst LLC, burnout hit in 2014 and took her by surprise.

“I felt stuck and so lost. I was new and I didn’t want to say anything to appear weak, like I couldn’t handle it, and wanted to be a reliable good nurse. Little did I know I was setting myself on fire to keep other people warm and it would soon catch up with me.”

What helped her through it, she wrote for Nurse.org, was the connection with others.

“Support from people that I worked with or the dear friends who could see that something was off and checked in on me,” she wrote, “I’ll honestly never forget it.”

Page, who is a leader on topics related to nurse well-being and burnout, suggests ways you can help a suffering co-worker.

Be approachable but avoid unsolicited advice

When connecting with colleague, check-in and ask questions like, “Do you want to talk about it?” Then just listen. Don’t offer your opinion unless they ask for it. Unsolicited advice could overwhelm them more and make things worse.

Avoid vague statements of help

Instead of asking “What can I do to help,” which gives the sufferer another decision to make, offer something specific. “Can I get you some lunch?” “Can I do (blank) for you?”

Don’t dismiss their feelings

Avoid saying things like “Focus on the positive,” or “It could be worse.” Just let them feel their feelings. It your co-worker’s emotions are too much for you, “communicate that you would love to support them and choose a time to meet up with them that feels good to you,” Page wrote.

Follow up without judgment

Be sure to circle back with the person you talked with. Without offering unsolicited advice, encourage your colleague to get professional help if it looks like they are still struggling.

What not to say

Be careful to avoid any questions or statements that might seem to minimize how someone is feeling. Here are a few examples of what not to say:

• “Wow, that sounds awful, but something way worse happened to me last week so it could be worse!”
• “I wouldn’t worry about it. Seriously just move on.”
• “I wouldn’t get this upset about it. Just be positive!”
• “This really isn’t worth you getting this upset about it.”
• “I wouldn’t say anything, it will probably just make it worse.”
• “Do you think maybe you are overreacting?”
• “Good vibes only!”

“Small acts of kindness can ignite massive changes to the environments we work in,” Page said. “You never know the impact you may have on someone who is struggling.”