Opening week: TVs fall line up

Shows debut virtually every week of the year now so it's kind of quaint that the ever shrinking original "big three" even put on the pretense of an "opening week." Fox and the CW have debuted virtually all their fall shows. But ABC, NBC and CBS roll out a majority of their shows this week. So be patient because this is a looong list below.

Monday

• "Dancing With the Stars" 8 p.m. AB C (season debut) — The motley crew this fall includes Kim Kardashian, Cloris Leachman, Lance Bass and Warren Sapp. We'll all be watching the 82-year-old Leachman and marvel her grace, hoping at the same time she doesn't break anything.

• "Heroes" 9 p.m. NBC (two-hour season debut) — After an 8 p.m. clip show, we find out who shot Nathan Petrelli while Sylar visits Claire to pick her brain. Literally.

• "The Big Bang Theory" 8 p.m. CBS (season debut) — Penny and Leonard have their first date and the "knowledge" gap causes problems.

• "How I Met Your Mother" 8;30 p.m. CBS (season debut) — The always adorable Sarah Chalke plays Stella, who may or may not say yes to Ted. In the meantime, the ever randy Barney can't stop thinking about Robin.

• "Two and a Half Men" 9 p.m. CBS (season debut) — Charlie meets a child that resembles him a wee bit too much for comfort.

• "Worst Week" 9:30 p.m. CBS (new series) — Think "Meet the Parents," minus the humor.

• "CSI: Miami" 10 p.m. CBS (season debut) — When in doubt, shoot the main character. But who shot Horatio?

Tuesday

• "House" 8 p.m. Fox — House hires a private investigator to spy on Wilson now that his former BFF left the roost.

• "NCIS" 8 p.m. CBS (season debut) — A murder of a Navy officer reveals a link between the NCIS team and the investigation.

• "The Mentalist" 9 p.m. CBS (new series) — Simon Baker is a more serious version of Shawn from "Psych." In other words, a very observant detective minus the wisecracks.

• "Without a Trace" 10 p.m. CBS (season debut) — Steven Weber of "Wings" fame plays the new head of the Missing Persons squad.

Wednesday

• "Knight Rider" 8 p.m. NBC (new series) — The star of this show is KITT, the updated car, voiced by Val Kilmer.

• "The New Adventures of Old Christine" 8 p.m. CBS (season debut) — Barb is up for deportation but thanks to California's gay laws, her BFF Christine asks Barb to marry her to keep her around. How romantic!

• "Gary Unmarried" 8:30 p.m. CBS (season debut) — Jay Mohr tries his hand at sitcoms by playing a newly divorced dad grappling with being single. Mohr and the supporting cast are reasonably funny in the pilot, at least.

• "CSI: NY" 10 p.m. CBS (season debut) — Where is Mac? Maybe we'll find out.

Thursday

• "My Name is Earl" 8 p.m., 8:30 p.m. NBC (season debut) — Earl has returned to his list.

• "Survivor: Gabon" 8 p.m. CBS (season debut) — Doctor and former Atlantan Marcus Lehman makes his mark this season.

• "Ugly Betty" 8 p.m. ABC (season debut) — Did Betty pick Gio or Henry — or will a third guy come along?

• "Grey's Anatomy" 9 p.m. ABC (season debut) — "Journeyman" star Kevin McKidd pops up as a military vet doctor who might end up hooking up with Cristina.

• "The Office" 9 p.m. NBC (season debut) — Jim misses Pam, who is in art school all summer. Michael hits on new HR rep Amy.

• "ER" 10 p.m. NBC (season debut) — This is the show's final season. Abby wakes up in the aftermath of the ambulance explosion.

Friday

• "America's Toughest Jobs" 8 p.m. NBC — The contestants try bull riding tonight.

• "Gone Country" 8 p.m. CMT (season finale) — Sean Young & Co. perform their country songs tonight. None look like real viable country stars so who knows who John Rich will pick this time around.

• "Presidential debate" 10 p.m. major broadcast and news channels — Jim Lehrer moderates the first debate on domestic policy at the University of Mississippi in Oxford.

• "Stargate Atlantis" 10 p.m. Friday — Michael Shanks reprises his role as archaeologist Daniel.

Weekend television

• "Prism Awards" 4 p.m. Saturday. FX— Proof there's an awards show for anything. This celebrates accurate portrayal of drug and alcohol abuse in pop culture.

• "Amazing Race 13" 8 p.m. CBS. Sunday (season debut) — One of the best produced, most tantalizing reality shows is back. Watch for visits to Cambodia and Bolivia.

• "The Simpsons" 8 p.m. Fox. Sunday. (season debut) — Homer Simpson becomes a bounty hunter in this 20th season opener.

• "Cold Case" 9 p.m. Sunday. CBS (season debut) — The team goes back 35 years to check out a football star's death.

• "Desperate Housewives" 9 p.m. Sunday. ABC (season debut) — Five years pass: Gabby has two kids and she's no longer a size zero.