Mother and daughter aren’t just words to be mentioned in tandem. They are bound together in ways inseparable.
“As girls grow up to become women, they rely on their view of their mom as the model of what a woman should be,” said Gila Brown, a parent coach based in Los Angeles. “Moms teach daughters how to engage in a male-female relationship, through their own interactions with Dad (and other male relationships). They teach their daughters how to relate to their body, through their own feelings about body image and physical affection with others.”
And without them, there would be no Mother’s Day, right?
So we asked a group of local daughters, most of whom are now mothers themselves, to tell us about their moms and what makes them so special.
Marion Runkle, 63, Mableton; Mother Mazie Mathis Barnes and mother-in-law Shirley Friedman
I had two special mothers in my life: my mother and my mother-in-law.
My mother was sweet and kind and when I think of her, I remember how much she loved me. She made me laugh. She was my role model, someone I looked up to and admired. When she died of breast cancer at age 53, I was 26 years old and pregnant. Being without her during that time of my life was hard to accept sometimes, but my first mother-in-law managed to fill her shoes.
She was intense. She was pushy. It was quite a contrast from the mother I had growing up.
But she was always there when any of us needed her. Although her son and I divorced 21 years later, our “mother-daughter” relationship was cemented. Even after I remarried, I visited Shirley whenever we traveled to Virginia. When my husband was diagnosed with cancer, Shirley was so shaken by the news that she cried.
After his death, I moved back to Virginia, where I spent Saturdays with Shirley, going all over the place, eating, shopping. I was at her bedside when she died at age 95.
Cheryl Twyman, 43; Rosa Tomlinson, 71; Both of Atlanta
The best way to describe my mother is “Superwoman.” In a single day, she could prepare hot meals for dinner, take care of the needs of the house, help me and my brother with homework, take care of her aging mother and work full time. I used to think she had some sort of “superpower,” but as I got older I realized that her strength comes from God who has “all power.” She taught me to be a lady, a sister, a wife, a Christian, a friend and a mother.
I have always respected my mother, but it was not until I became a mother that I truly appreciated her. When my daughter was born, she came to Jacksonville to help me and my husband.
I will never forget when we dropped her off at the airport to return to Atlanta. So many thoughts went through my head. How am I going to be that “Superwoman”?
She is my hero because she is caring, supportive, honest and very patient. She is my friend, and I feel fortunate that she is still alive and well.
Leslie Wolfe, 45, Atlanta; Rosanne Kalick
A few years ago when my sister, Jean, and I were cleaning out our mother Rosanne’s apartment, we collected 37 boxes of tissues. She had passed away a few weeks earlier from her third battle with cancer. Mind you, each time Jean and I had come to stay with her those last few months, my mother would always put tissues on her shopping list for us, “I can always use extra tissues,” Mom would say. She was always prepared, always had a stocked refrigerator, the right book to lend for book club, the time to talk or counsel me.
A teacher, librarian and writer, Mom was one of the first in her generation to get an e-mail address and she would have loved our world of Facebook and Twitter. She knew the importance of connections and staying connected, not just in work but also in life.
It is because of her example that I always call or send cards to people on their birthdays or other important days in their lives. I send quick e-mails to check in with friends going through hard times or whom I haven’t heard from in awhile. I stay connected.
Cheryl Orlansky, 55, Atlanta; Sunnie Lichtenstein, 74
My teenagers think that I am very uncool ,which I probably am. However, I never thought that about my mom. In fact, growing up, all we ever heard was “what a beautiful mother you have.” We were always so proud of her style inside and out. She always looked very “cool” dressed in the latest fashion to go everywhere, from shopping for groceries to driving carpool. You never saw her without her makeup and hair done.
My mom has a certain magnetism or star quality that draws people to her. She is a good listener and was a very successful businesswoman until retirement eight years ago. I hear her talking on the phone to her friends of many years and listening to all their problems but never hear her complain about hers.
Nancy Habif, 48, Atlanta; Susie Habif
My mom continues to be the central core of my being. While she wasn’t able to transform my wardrobe or make me look half as beautiful as her, she was, instead, able to gift me with her strength of character, her deep and abiding love of family and her zest for life and people.
She didn’t always think I was watching or listening to her, but it’s no coincidence that I have five children just like her, live exactly how I want just like her and have never met a stranger, just like her.
Her greatest line, when she got frustrated with me, was: “You’ll listen to me when I’m gone.” Mom, once again, you’re right. I am listening!
I’m not quite sure how I will get through my first Mother’s Day without you, but I will do everything in my power to carry on your legacy in the best way I know how. I hope you’re the one watching and listening now. I hope I make you proud.
Brittany Thoms, 28, Athens; Wanda Shaw, Griffin
I’m a relatively new mother celebrating my third Mother’s Day as the mom of a precious 2-year-old boy named Carson, and expecting our second boy this June. Being a new mom and experiencing all of the challenges that come with the territory gives me a completely new appreciation for my own mom.
I appreciate her unwavering commitment to Jesus Christ, her strength in the midst of trying circumstances, her generosity to all people and her ability to simplify life down to what matters most. Her greatest accomplishment, I think she would say, is being a mother to my sister and me.
She always says we are her ‘heart on two legs’ and while at first it paints a funny picture, it’s true. Now that I have one son and another the way, I’m starting to see what you mean.
Thank you, Mom, and happy Mother’s Day!
