When it’s time to move an aging family member into an apartment or retirement community, emotions can run high. Getting rid of what may seem like junk to an adult child can be painful for a parent.
Such situations are familiar to Cory Chalmers, one of the stars of A&E’s “Hoarders” and owner of Steri-Clean since 1995. Steri-Clean, which recently opened in Cumming, helps older homeowners with hoarding tendencies to downsize.
“They have their children’s things, their life, it’s their personal road map,” he said. “It’s very hard for them to say, ‘Let it all go,’ because they’re going to a one-bedroom apartment.”
As a result, tempers can flare between adult children and parents, and attempts get rid of long-held possessions can grind to a halt. That’s when hiring professional assistance can be helpful.
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A key step for adult children is starting the process early and identifying potential challenges. Hiring a professional organizer or even arranging short-term therapy may be needed.
“Figure out the game plan well in advance and line up those needed resources before the move,” Chalmers said. “We get so many people that say they had six months that they knew about it and they waited until the last two weeks and now they’re panicked.”
He urges folks not to remove everything when their parents are gone and without their input.
“We sit (the parent) down in one area, usually where all the activity is going to be happening, because we want them to be able to see as we’re working that there’s nothing going on behind their back or in other rooms,” he said. “It’s all part of them feeling that they’re in control.”
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Chalmers advises against storing the items that don’t make the move to the new residence.
“The problem with storage is that it just becomes a monthly bill,” he said. “We already know it’s not going to fit into their new place. It’s not like they’re going to go and visit the stuff. So we try to talk people out of getting storage units.”
Once the parent has moved, the need to collect things may resurface. If they’ve moved into a senior living community with planned activities, Chalmers recommends encouraging them to meet other residents and to develop new interests that can counteract that behavior.
“Isolation causes depression and depression causes hoarding or the need to collect things,” he said. “Sit down with your parents and look at the calendar. Find out what things they enjoy doing and make a schedule. Put it somewhere they can remember. Even if they’re not going to that type of place, there are senior centers almost in every community that do the same thing.”
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