Comic late night Stephen Colbert has been talking turkey this Thanksgiving, pitching in, so to speak, at the Butterball Hotline. What he lacked in any sort of actual cooking knowledge, he made up for holiday finery.

With one call he pretended to speak French, with another he pretended that he was an air traffic controller.

"I'm going to call the police," the exasperated woman who just wanted help cooking her turkey said.

"I'm going to call the Army," Colbert responded.

And so on.

Here's hoping the callers eventually got the help they dialed in for.