"White Student Union" demands a ban on Charlie Sheen parties

The group, which appears to be a satirical response to protest movements at campuses across the country, also demands a facility to be christened the Napoleon Bonaparte Resource Center and sensitivity toward certain terms. 

"Today, walking to my final, I heard someone near me watching a TV that wasn't working say the phrase 'white noise,'" an anonymous post on the group's official Facebook page begins. "It wasn't addressed to me but I was nevertheless immediately triggered. But I had no s@fe space respectful of Europe@n identities to take refuge in. I wallowed, without a s@fe space, for hours before being able to study for my next final."

(For some reason they sometimes use the @ sign instead of the letter "a.")

" How can UCSB claim to represent us when it so viciously others us and allows people to say things that we find offensive, like 'white noise?'" the post continues. " Why isn't UCSB arresting and expelling every single person who says something that might offend a PED?"

(That stands for Person of European Descent).

The list of demands, styled after those made by numerous campus protest groups across the country, calls for campus patrols to be on guard for phrases like "Wow, I bet you get sunburned really easily!" and  "Surrendering like a Frenchman."

"Saying any of the things listed above should merit immediate expulsion and arrest in order to effectively maintain a s@fe space," the group says. It also demands an an end to festivities such as those with a Charlie Sheen, St. Patrick's Day or pirate theme.  

Credit: Jennifer Brett

Credit: Jennifer Brett