Sandy Springs: Feel-good rankings add up to zero

It’s been a dandy time here in Sandy Springs — especially for those who feed their families by bringing businesses and home buyers inside our borders.

A neighborhood in our corner of heaven has been deemed by AOL to be among the 50 safest places to live in the country. And Portfolio.com lists us as living in the ninth most affluent area of this great nation. Of the two I like the safety thing more.

Several years ago I came home to find my back door had been smashed. The police said it was likely thieves knew the house would be empty all day. They probably backed a van into the carport, broke the door and were gone within minutes.

Nothing was missing — I was told they were looking for things they could scoop up and pocket. This explained why they ignored a new color TV, a Nintendo and my computer. I wasn’t sure if I should have been relieved or insulted that I had nothing worth stealing.

These kind of stories are good for cities when it comes to selling homes and attracting commerce, but let us not get too animated. I suppose living in an affluent community will serve me well if I ever want to sell the ancestral home. Right now we’re pretty dug in.

We could post one of those signs you see on the way into small towns that sort of introduce the place. I’m just not sure how best to communicate these selling points. Maybe:

“Sandy Springs — we’re safe and affluent. Welcome law-abiding rich people!”

“If you make a boatload of money and want to keep it, you’re home.”

“Money can’t buy happiness. But safety — let’s talk.”

At another time in my career I worked at places that published rankings. Having been on that side of the ledger, I know the folly of getting too invested in these things. I also know that no one gets cranky when they score well. So what do we do with these numbers?

For example, in the polling of affluent places we’re No. 9, Roswell is No. 49 and Atlanta is No. 79. I made the drive just last week to Roswell — went up Georgia 400 and came back down Roswell Road. I have no idea why we’re 40 points higher — our neighbor to the north seems pretty swell, actually.

I couldn’t say why we are 70 spots ahead of our friends in Atlanta, but I will lord that one over my friends who are die-hard ITP Kool-Aid drinkers. That refers to those who believe living inside the Perimeter is superior to life outside.