European travel isn't all it's cracked up to be.

You have to master unfamiliar money. And maps. And the lingua franca (how they talk, y'all) well enough to be able to order local specials off the menu without accidentally calling the waiter a monkey's uncle.

JILL VEJNOSKA/jvejnoska@ajc.com (ENLARGE)

Located in a restored schoolhouse, the Georgia State Cotton Museum bears colorful witness to the role 'snow in the South' has played in the state and region's development.

Photos VIENNA VITALS Vienna is located off I-75 in Dooly County about 130 miles south of Atlanta. Take exit 112 onto Highway 27 west. To learn more about Vienna attractions: www.historicvienna.org: Home of the Vienna Historic Preservation Society (229-268-3663), including the Georgia State Cottom Museum. (229-268-2045) www.doolychamber.com: The Dooly County Chamber of Commerce. (229-268-8375) www.bigpigjig.com: Site of the state's barbecue championship. (229-268-8275) Rome, Ga., has European flair, attractions | Photos • Getaway: Vienna | Photos Georgia travel stories Westville: Pre-Civil War town is living museum  Allman Bros Band's 'Big House' to open as museum  Town is artisan-friendly  Five romantic spots for the newly wed  Art, music and scenery  Photos: Travel / Southeast Galleries Latest deals! Back to: Travel | Southeast destinations Travel Guide Powered by

Years ago in Vienna, Austria, a "friend" (OK, it was me) innocently mistook an ornate fountain for one that had figured prominently in "The Sound of Music." The tour guide rolled his eyes in silent, snooty disgust.

In Vienna, Ga., on the other hand, they give you free dessert. Just for showing up!

Fauxrope totally rules.

Two weeks ago in Living, I shared my plans for summering in "Europe," without ever actually leaving Georgia. My first foray into this alternative place called Fauxrope — Rome, Ga., up in Floyd County — offered enough cultural high points and low price points to satisfy any globetrotting bon vivant.

The good news was, my Grand Fauxropean Tour got off to a promising start. The bad news was, stop No. 2 — Vienna — had a lot to live up to. Here's what I found.

No one's a stranger

Vienna, a circa-1841 town of just under 3,000 people located in cotton and peanut/pecan country about an hour south of Macon, may be best known for two things: It's home to the Georgia State Cotton Museum and — in your face, Vienna waltz! — to the Big Pig Jig.

An annual barbecue competition/festival started in 1982, the Jig has grown to become the state's official barbecue competition — with its own expansive site on Pig Jig Boulevard. (This year's "Hogaween Town"-themed event takes place Oct. 31 -Nov. 1.)

Even when it's not high cotton (or barbecue) season, the Dooly County seat is well worth the trip. Consider:

• The cheapest available roundtrip flight to that Vienna costs $1,347 and takes 21 hours because it includes a stop to change planes in Amsterdam.

• A round-trip drive to this Vienna cost $137 and took three hours — with a stop in Unadilla to buy $3.91-a-gallon gas and browse the convenience store's impressive selection of Little Debbie snack cakes.

Half an hour later, I parked my car in downtown Vienna, having, uh, misplaced the cotton museum. Before I'd walked very far, a local approached to see if she could be of assistance. Turned out it was Rhonda Lamb-Heath, executive director of the Dooly County Chamber of Commerce, which was having its monthly lunch meeting nearby. I was whisked inside, where I got the who's who and what's what of Vienna. And a quick schooling in the lingua franca:

Vienna was indeed named for its Austrian counterpart, but the pronunciation — "VYE-anna" — is all its own.

Why?

"Because we're in the South," said Stephanie Langley, executive director of Keep Vienna Beautiful.

Translation: Not a snooty eye-roller anywhere in the place.

Minutes later, however, I was practically in jail.

The chamber meets (and Langley works) at Heritage House, aka old City Hall, an East Union Street landmark. Years ago, the police chief lived upstairs; you half expect to see Otis Campbell from "The Andy Griffith Show" sleeping one off inside one of the jail cells preserved downstairs.

"This Old Jail" is just one of many compelling and colorful stops in Vienna, a town that's worked hard to honor its heritage without becoming mired in the past. Just when you think you have a handle on its small-town charm, the wider world asserts itself in a good way.

• Third time's a charm: The red brick Dooly County Courthouse, the county's third, took time to build. Too much time, apparently, as the county withheld $557.71 of the $25,000 construction price when it was finished four months past the agreed-upon date of March 1, 1891. A lawsuit ensued, which the county won. But all's well that ends well: The courthouse, with its signature clock tower, continues to do business at its prime spot overlooking Vienna City Park. Inside, the walls of the soaring lobby are hung with colorful framed quilts depicting the county seal, local bounty (cotton, peaches, etc.) and the courthouse itself.

• Service with a smile: At Ellis Bros. Pecans (1315 Tippettville Road), the shelling plant and retail store are located next to the original 1944 pecan grove. Its irresistible slogan (and Web address): "We're nuts." At the other end of the residency scale, Australian transplant Paul Dabnor jokes that he took a wrong turn last year and wound up on Union Street. Now he and his wife, Nancy, sell gorgeous antique tools and folk-tastic crafts, respectively, in adjoining shops.

Next door, Charles and Yvonne Cross' The Olde Shoppe (108A Union St.) offers antiques, imported Oriental pearls and local barbecue legend Jack Mixon's special sauce. When Charles couldn't make change for a $20 bill, he sent me off with a bottle of Mixon sauce and a breezy "I trust you to come back" to pay. (I did.)

• Now wait just a cotton pickin' ... hour: Take one old wooden schoolhouse, mix in some exotic-looking farm equipment and boll weevil factoids and what do you get? A surprisingly absorbing hourlong visit to the Georgia State Cotton Museum.

The small yet smartly organized museum attests to "snow in the South's" importance in Georgia's development and its role in a host of essential products. But it doesn't gloss over such uglier realties as how increased demand for cotton contributed to slavery's growth here. Curator Margaret Hegidio patiently answered questions and even encouraged me to touch the displays of cotton in its various post-picking phases. Plus, they sell postcards, so you can lord it over far-flung friends that you've seen an actual cotton mopping machine!

• Who says there's no free lunch?: Going to Vienna is a little like going home to see mother. The locals want to fatten you up, even if you're just some nosy reporter who's stumbled into their chamber meeting.

At popular lunch spot Marise Country Cooking (1017 East Pine St.), the first stop along the cafeteria-style line of delicious, rib-sticking food was for a cold drink the size of a wading pool. Next came dessert, which was free because it was Wednesday (try the authentic Viennese pastry, aka pecan pie). Fittingly, the Smithsonian Institution chose Vienna to launch the Georgia leg of its traveling exhibition "Key Ingredients: America by Food" (it's at the Southwest Georgia Business Development Center through July 9.)

I had but one regret as I motored out of Vienna on this trip to Fauxrope: Missing a stop at Not Just Java, which closes at 2 p.m. on Wednesdays. This aptly named North 3rd Street coffee shop opened last November and donates 10 percent of its profits to charity and community groups. It's also an art gallery. And a dry cleaners. Which must come in awfully handy if, say, you order a Dooly Dog and drop it on your good blouse while leaning in to check out a watercolor.

"It's a weird mix, but it works," owner Micki Arthur said with a laugh.

A person — OK, me — could say the same for lovely little VYE-anna itself.