Saffron men, salmon women and a (nearly) naked lunch

The restaurant at 3555 Gwinnett Place Drive in Duluth has many interesting features. It stays open 24/7; it accepts no money; it greets customers with a bowl of hard-cooked eggs; its broad menu features corn dogs, mung-bean noodles, Russian pelmini and ice cream sandwiches shaped like fish. And it must surely be the only eatery in greater Atlanta that requires you to strip completely naked before you order.

Or is it? There may be others. There may be, for all I know, places that require guests to remain naked during the meal, though I doubt they have terrific health ratings.

Suffice it to say this restaurant, located deep inside Jeju Sauna, is the only local dining venue for the recently naked that I know of. This sprawling Korean bath house —- called a jimjilbang —- features same-sex “wet areas” with showers, steamrooms, saunas, whirlpools and communal soaking tubs set to temperatures varying from Hot-lanta to Wasilla-chilla.

Once you’re finished with naked time, you dry off and slip into a cotton “uniform” consisting of stretch-band cotton shorts and a matching T-shirt. Saffron for men, salmon for women. Then —- barefoot and, um, commando —- you walk down a long hallway into the sanctum sanitarium. And …?

It’s a party! It’s a really strange party, with people milling about a vast space, engaged in sundry therapeutic activities.

True, you are in a windowless compound with glaring artificial light and fellow drones who are all dressed exactly the same in their gender-coded uniforms and, well, you feel, just for moment, like you’ve wandered into some dystopian future. Maybe the break room in a uranium mine on a distant planet.

But, no, the people seem happy. Pink ladies and orange men walk in and out of heated yurtlike pods, each with walls constructed from a different mineral. The jade pod, the charcoal pod, the gold-and-silver pod, the salt pod, the “precious jewel” pod crusted with a mosaic of amethyst geodes. Absorb the energy …

Less esoteric activities include a video game room, a smoking room, a foot massage room, and a flat-screen TV set to a Korean soap opera, in front of which various pink ladies lay splayed on the floor. Some are fast asleep.

And the restaurant! It takes up half the space of the central floor, beckoning even the non-hungry with its Chick-fil-A-style neon backboard, radiating images of yumminess. You’ve been burning hot and freezing cold. You’ve sat on a stone slab under ultraviolet lights and huddled on a straw mat in the corner of a charcoal-crusted yurt next to a snoring octogenarian. No wonder you’re hungry.

Walk up to the restaurant counter and absorb all this strange information as the lady behind it waits patiently. Do you need an egg right away? No. How about a Hot Pocket? Absolutely not. A kiwi smoothie? Yes, please. The lady scoops soggy cut-up kiwi into a blender and pours a can of Sprite over it. Delicious.

The menu mostly consists of Korean comfort food —- grilled short ribs, fried rice, soft tofu soup. But Jeju Sauna (named for a Korean island famous for its beaches and jimjilbang) also attracts a number of non-Korean visitors, notably sauna-mad Russians. So some signs are in Russian. Does the lady like the pelmini dumplings with sour cream?

“No,” she says, turning down the corners of her mouth. “Just meat inside. The Korean ones have meat, vegetable and onion. More flavor.”

You pay for your meal by touching the chip on your locker key to a sensor, and then take your tray to a low Asian table, stopping for a floor mat to sit on. Around you, your pink and yellow comrades murmur in small groups, and you catch snippets of Korean, Russian and English.

The food? It’s fine. Perhaps it tastes better than it ought to because you feel that you deserve it, or that somehow, with every bite, you feel the stress leave your body.

Maybe you’ll get that ice cream sandwich. It’s filled with red beans. And then, who knows? Falling asleep in front of a Korean soap opera sounds awfully tempting. It’s far too soon to think about putting on your clothes —- your outside uniform —- again.