Bullies at school took boy’s life, family says

Friends and family gathered Tuesday night at the home of an 11-year-old boy who committed suicide because, the family said, he had been bullied so much at school.

The death of Jaheem Herrera has stunned a community and a school system that experts say is a model for handling a problem that haunts many school rooms.

“My first born!” the boy’s mother, Masika Bermudez, cried Tuesday night as a group of about 60 gathered outside the family’s unit at Wesley Club Apartments in Avondale Estates. “And now he’s gone. Nobody can replace him.”

Jaheem hanged himself last Thursday at his home, where his little sister found him.

Norman Keene, the fifth-grader’s stepfather, said the family knew the boy was a target, but until his death, they didn’t understand the extent of his suffering.

“He’d never tell us,” said Keene, who had helped raise Jaheem from age 2.

Keene said Jaheem’s sister Yerralis, 10, had witnessed the bullying and had come to Jaheem’s defense, but the boy didn’t want her to tell their parents.

“They called him gay and a snitch,” Keene said. All the time they’d call him this.”

Bermudez told WSB-TV on Monday that she had gone to the school six or seven times to discuss the way her son was being treated.

On Tuesday, asked about those visits, she responded, “Talk to my lawyer.”

The school system said Tuesday that it could not legally comment on students’ records.

Ronald Stephens, executive director of the National School Safety Center, who has worked with the DeKalb County School System, said the district has one of the finest student codes of conduct in the country.

“It is so well-written that I often cite it as an example for other schools to follow,” Stephens said. “But the code of conduct tells what you want people to do. You still have to have students and parents living it.”

Jennifer Errion, the DeKalb school system’s assistant director of student support services, prevention-intervention, said the system two years ago adopted an anti-bullying program called “No Place for Hate.”

The program, sponsored by the Anti-Defamation League, helps train faculty and students about accepting differences and promoting diversity and inclusion. More than 150 schools in the metro area participate in it.

“Unfortunately, prevention is not a vaccine,” Errion said. “We have a society that is often misguided. We’ve created the idea that bullying is a rite of passage, and I don’t think it is.”

Through the program, all Dunaire students, teachers and staff signed an anti-bullying pledge, DeKalb school spokesman Dale Davis said.

Davis said the DeKalb system reserves the right to punish students after the first incident of bullying or other harassment and upon a finding of guilt.

Stephens, of the National School Safety Center, said bullying is one of the most underrated yet enduring problems in schools.

“This idea of sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me is all fine,” he said, “but name-calling can be very hurtful and has a dramatic effect on decisions children make.”

Joel Meyers, director of the Center for Research on School Safety at Georgia State’s College of Education, said he has been studying the effectiveness of bully-prevention programs since 2007.

Bullying occurs in schools for a range of reasons, he said, including reluctance to act by adults.

“It might be they aren’t sure what to do and don’t feel comfortable responding,” Meyers said.

He said it’s important for school administrators to make it clear what is tolerated and what isn’t, but also provide support.

“Kids need to feel there is someone at the school they can talk to —- whether it’s a teacher, counselor or coach —- when they have a problem,” he said.

—- Staff writers Megan Matteucci, Christian Boone, Katie Leslie and Mark Davis contributed to this article.

TIPS FOR PARENTS

Educators’ advice to parents on how to combat bullying:

> Talk with and listen to your kids —- every day. Engage in frequent conversations about their social lives.

> Spend time at school and recess. Research shows that 67 percent of bullying happens when adults are not present.

> Be a good example of kindness and leadership. Your kids learn a lot about power relationships from watching you.

> Learn the signs. Most children don’t tell anyone (especially adults) that they’ve been bullied. Learn to recognize warning signs such as complaints of headaches or stomachaches, or avoiding recess or school activities.

> Create healthy anti-bullying habits early. Coach your children what not to do —- hitting, pushing, teasing.

> Help your child’s school deal with bullying effectively. Zero-tolerance policies don’t work. Ongoing educational programs that help create a healthy social climate do.

Source: Education.com