Realistic resolutions

Every year, we draft resolutions and then we break them, every one, because we set ourselves up for failure. Let’s resolve to be realistic this year. We asked a variety of notable local experts to suggest feasible, achievable lifestyle changes that can improve your relationships, your health —- your life. Isn’t that what it’s all about?

Here are nine “resolutions within reach” for ‘09.

Get the family up and moving

Get in the habit of walking as a family every night. If it’s too dark or the weather is bad, no problem. Turn on the music and dance. It’s a fun way to exercise, and exercise is key for building strong bones and controlling weight. Aim for 30 minutes, but any amount of exercise is better than none.

—- Dr. Jackie Gotlieb of the Atlanta-based Kids Health First Pediatric Alliance

Give your spouse 15 minutes a day

Turn off the TV, PDAs, cellphones —- all of it, and make time for a 15-minute “check-in” every day. It will help you and your spouse stay friends. One important rule, though: You need to agree to not talk about each other, your relationship or problems. This is not supposed to be a gripe session; it’s supposed to be a friendly chat. If you have problems to talk about, do it some other time, not during check-in.

Before long, you’ll likely enjoy the check-ins and they can morph into mini-dates.

—- Recommended by David Woodsfellow, clinical director the Atlanta-based Woodsfellow Institute for Couples Therapy

Count your blessings

Think of three reasons why you feel happy to be alive. In challenging times, we often get stuck in ruts, even in our thinking.

On days you feel blue, try to think of something specific you are happy about, such as something sweet a family member said or did, a garden in bloom, a delicious meal, a new co-worker who makes you laugh.

—- Erik Fisher, Atlanta psychologist

Reach out

Call an old friend and reconnect.

Call someone who gave you help this past year and say thank you.

Clean out your closet and give items to a good cause.

—- Robyn Spizman, Atlanta gift guru and co-author of “Do Your Giving While You Are Living.”

Be optimistic

The way you think about a situation can either cause stress or keep you light and upbeat. If you’re stuck on the fact that there is 7 percent unemployment, and convinced that there’s no hope, you will be right. But if you think differently and choose optimistic thoughts, you might say that there is 93 percent employment. In that frame of mind, you’re better able to ask questions like: “I wonder what companies are truly looking for today? How can I use my skills in the current market to make a difference? What new skills would I be willing to learn to be able to contribute to an organization?” An optimistic perspective will open the door, and even if it doesn’t, you’ll enjoy the journey much more.

—- Eric Plasker, health and wellness expert in Atlanta and author of the book, “100 Year Lifestyle.”

Do at least one thing each week that brings you joy

Too often, we live our lives trying to please others while sacrificing our own needs. Many of us need to realize: No one else is going to be more invested in your happiness than you are. In that sense, it is perfectly fine to be a little selfish.

So go ahead, indulge: Read the latest novel by your favorite author. Rent your favorite movie and fall in love with it all over again.

—- J. Kip Matthews, Athens psychologist

Take a little time to answer tough questions

Often, parents automatically answer a child’s question to save time. Try this exercise to encourage critical thinking and reasoning skills: At least once a week, when a member of the family asks a perplexing question (such as, “Why does the edge of the toast turn black when toasted a little longer?”) research the answer together rather than offer a quick response.

Or try this: Weekly or monthly, depending on your schedules, gather and share five key facts about a famous scientist or mathematician, musician or writer.

—- Alka Citrin, a Georgia Tech professor and founder of the online tutoring company, “Be a Star Tutoring”

Don’t fall into a weight-loss trap

Just the desire to shed pounds is never enough. Put together a plan and set specific goals such as “I will do 30 minutes of cardio four times a week.” Don’t weigh yourself every day. Once a week is enough.

Pick a fun activity. If you always wanted to take a ballet class, do it now. Have fun experimenting with low-fat recipes. Remember, it takes two to three weeks to establish a new habit. If you miss one day, don’t see it as failure.

And don’t forget to reward yourself for progress (just not with food!).

—- DeKalb Medical registered dietician Alice Schuler

Be good to your feet

Wearing shoes that don’t fit properly is one of the most common reasons people (especially women) suffer foot problems such as calluses and bunions.

Women are notorious for getting shoes that are too tight —- not to mention those high heels. Limit heels to one inch and shop for shoes in the afternoon when your feet are at their largest due to swelling.

And don’t stop there. Flip-flops and those uber-popular rubbery shoes with holes are OK for the pool or beach but otherwise not good for the footsies. (They don’t provide enough support.)

—- DeKalb Medical podiatrist Dr. Ingie El-Khashab