If the other shoe drops, somebody will be upset

The shoe attack on President Bush last week —- call it the Dark Night of the Sole —- demonstrated the wide footprint of cultural insults: To you, it’s a pair of Nike Airs; to an Arab, it’s a taunt laced with hatred. Fortunately, the president was not caught flat-footed and neatly dodged the rogue’s brogans.

But the curious incident serves as a reminder that every culture has its unique insults —- hand gestures, verbal expressions, arcane behavior involving flying footwear. It also serves as a great opportunity to explore some of them! So keep your shoes on your feet and your hands in your pockets, and let’s go ruffle some feathers.

Your reptilian mama

The Guardian reports that in Mandarin Chinese, an extreme insult is, “Nide muchin shr ega da wukwei,” or “your mother is a big turtle.” Said the Guardian: “It is thought to be particularly insulting to call someone a turtle because a turtle does not know its father and turtles are promiscuous.”

Hook ‘em, Horns!

President Bush was reported to have upset Norwegians (and possibly Italians) when he gave the University of Texas’ two-fingered Longhorn salute during his inauguration in 2005. In American baseball, the two fingers signify two outs. In some parts of Italy, they mean, “Hey, your wife is cheating on you!” In Norway, they are a salute to Satan.

Victory, or [bleep]!

Winston Churchill popularized the two-fingered victory sign. But in Britain, be sure the palm is facing out. The apparently apocryphal story is that, during the battle of Agincourt, the French would amputate the two fingers of English longbowmen they had captured so they couldn’t use their bows again. After the English won the battle, they paraded past the vanquished French showing the backs of their hands and two fingers (as if to say, “Still got mine!”). The gesture came to mean the same thing as the American center digit.

Guys holding hands

Roger Axtell traveled widely as a Parker Pen Co. executive and wrote “Do’s and Taboos Around the World” —- an advice book on how international travelers could avoid insulting their hosts. “In Japan, close body touching is frowned upon. They don’t go up and slap people on the back like we do at softball games,” Axtell said in a phone interview last week. “It’s just the opposite in the Latin world, and sometimes the Arab world. Men will come right up and stand close to each other. Men will hold hands —- it’s a surprise when you don’t expect it.

“It happened to me the first time I was there. This man reached over and took my hand. I’m a young man from Janesville, Wis., walking down the street holding hands with a man. I knew there had been some cross-cultural communication here, but I didn’t know what it was!” He resisted the impulse to pull away, he said, and later learned that the Arab had extended to him a common gesture of friendship and respect.

Aggression, European-style

A Dutch psychologist once asked 192 young men from Spain, Germany and the Netherlands to list five terms of abuse they might use when “a man who rudely knocks you off your feet, he turns toward you, but he gives no sign that he is sorry.” This is from reports in both The Washington Post and The Times of London.

The survey found that the Spaniards’ responses tended to focus on animals and family members; the Dutch, on diseases; and the Germans, body parts and functions.

A sign from Nixon

In the 1950s, Vice President Richard Nixon, who later would be identified with holding up both hands with “victory” signs, debarked from a plane in Brazil and threw up both hands. But this time he made the American gesture for “A-OK” —- index finger and thumb in a ring, the other three fingers raised —- with both hands. In Brazil, however, that gesture refers to the vagina.

Saudi religious police keep an eye on women

You likely have heard that Saudi Arabia takes a different view of women than do Western countries. As in, women can’t drive or even appear in public alone with a male to whom they are not related. In February, The Times of London reported that a 37-year-old American woman was jailed after Saudi religious police found her sitting with a male colleague (she didn’t have any female colleagues) at a Starbucks in Riyadh. The Americans had experienced a power failure at their office and repaired to Starbucks to use its wireless connection. “Some men came up to us with very long beards and white dresses,” the woman, who was identified only by her first name, told the Times. “They asked ‘Why are you here together?’ … They got very angry and told me what I was doing was a great sin.” She spent a day in jail and said she was forced to sign a false confession.

A dozen roses —- nyet!

When you’re sending someone in Russia a floral arrangement that contains only one kind of flower, make sure that the arrangement contains an odd number of flowers, unless that person is dead. According to russia.ru and numerous other sources, people send even numbers of flowers only to funerals. Odd numbers suggest a happy occasion. This taboo apparently isn’t quite so strong if the arrangement contains more than one kind of flower.

The worst kind of traitor, and sycophant

In its first public reference to South Korean President Lee Myung-bak, North Korea called Lee an “absent-minded traitor” (and a “U.S. sycophant”) in a commentary in a state newspaper. The North also referred to Lee as a “crafty profiteer and swindler.”

I do bite my thumb, sir

Shakespeare goes for the insulting gesture right out of the gate in “Romeo and Juliet.” In Act I Scene I, Gregory and Sampson, of the House of Capulet, are hanging out, making bad puns, when they see two guys from the House of Montague:

Gregory: I will frown as I pass by, and let them take it as they list.

Sampson: Nay, as they dare. I will bite my thumb at them; which is a disgrace to them, if they bear it.

Enter Abraham and Baltasar

Abraham: Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?

Sampson: I do bite my thumb, sir.

Abraham: Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?

Sampson [aside to Gregory]: Is the law of our side, if I say ay?

Gregory: No.

Sampson: No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you, sir, but I bite my thumb, sir.