THE ISSUE: SHOULD HIGH SCHOOL COACHES HAVE TO SERVE AS FATHER FIGURES? Lifelong influence

James “Friday” Richards has gone above and beyond what should be expected from a high school football coach.

In his 32 years as a coach at Marietta High School, he has taken in more than a dozen of his athletes —- kids who had no other place to go.

It started in 1986, when as an assistant coach at his alma mater, one of the school’s football players was kicked out of his family’s apartment after his mother was sent to jail.

“They threw all of their clothes out on the street, and he didn’t have anywhere to go because she had gotten locked up,” Richards said. “My wife [Dorothy] let me bring him home, and he stayed with us for two years before he went to college.

“That happened about 13 more times. Over the years, we had about 14 kids stay with us.”

Richards is the ultimate example of the impact a coach can have on the athletes he leads. As a father figure, he says he’s just embracing the role he was put on Earth to fulfill. He grew up in the Lemon Street projects, attended and played ball for Marietta High. And by taking an open-door policy with his players, he’s giving back to his community.

“If a kid doesn’t have a way home, I have to get him home because I know his mom or dad. And if he’s hungry or has to have something, I try to do my best to do what I need to do and make sure he gets it,” he said. “That’s just the Christian in me. The Lord that I serve says you take care of the kids, the people who are around you.”

But it’s not an easy calling for coaches. In football, for example, a coach may have more than 100 teenagers who spend more time with him than with anyone else. Coaches feel the stresses of preparing for games, winning them, satisfying active and demanding booster clubs, and spending more time on that than on their own families. In an interview earlier this fall, Parkview coach Cecil Flowe said during the football season, “It’s a 100-hour workweek, easy.”

The game has become more complicated with new technology and strategy schemes, but so has the family structure. Depending on which statistic you cite, 40 percent to 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. The U.S. Census Bureau puts the percentage of single-parent households at about 30 percent across all demographic lines.

“Back when I played in the ’70s, everything was status quo. There was structure,” said Kip Hall, the head football and golf coach at Druid Hills. “You had two parents at home doing the parenting job. That was the norm. Now I think it is the exception. Not only am I the head coach and teacher, I am father, mother, counselor, therapist and big brother.”

The job description of coach has expanded, for sure, but is it fair?

Longtime Southwest DeKalb football coach Buck Godfrey said coaches who may feel that being a father figure shouldn’t be part of their jobs “don’t even need to be coaching.” He said teaching lessons in life is more important than success on the field.

“Winning is not a scoreboard,” he said. “Winning is what you’re doing 10 years from now, 20 years from now … that actually makes you a good citizen.

“A lot of our coaches put too much emphasis on the scoreboard, rather than on the interior of a child, which is the most precious thing you can deal with.”

Godfrey relishes the father-figure role he plays. And it has made a difference. He said 80 percent of his players are honor roll students, and more than 200 of his players have received college scholarships in his 26 years. He tempers discipline with sensitivity and honesty.

“The absence of fathers in the home is a tragic thing for both boys and girls, so coaches become especially important because they spend more time with those children than others,” he said. “That develops a certain trust, and that trust can never be broken by a lie or by ulterior motives. So whatever you tell them has to be the truth, and you’ve got to live that truth out.”

IT’S MORE THAN JUST THE GAME

Like it or not, football coaches take on a father-figure role with their players. We asked coaches whether they should be viewed that way. Here’s a sampling:

Frank Hepler, West Forsyth

“My son plays for me at West Forsyth. So all the years that I was viewed by my players as a father figure now means more to me than it ever did before. One of the big reasons I wanted to come to Georgia and coach at a new school was because my son is starting his high school career. I know in Florida all those years [22] we had some special players that needed that father-type role model. I never minded that responsibility. Many families have it tough, and some players aren’t fortunate enough to have Dad in the home. We tried to make sure we treated all of our players the same and gave them care and understanding. I think coaches need to realize they are the most important male figure an athlete might have. It is a huge responsibility that the players will appreciate as they mature and get older.”

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Kip Hall, Druid Hills

“Kids today do not have the family support system that I had growing up. I have given money so kids can eat, arrange jobs during the summer, not only for my players, but for the general student. I have coaches who mentor six or more children, and they are not all players. It is a very troublesome time in our society as far as children are concerned, especially with their upbringing. I feel very passionate about this topic.”

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Xarvia Smith, Clarke Central

“So many players do not have a man to teach them. More and more players are being raised by single moms. As a coach, I view myself as a father figure. I want to model to my players how to be a good man.”

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Andy Dorsey, Hiram

“My father [Jim Dorsey, former head football coach and current AD at McEachern] was my coach in high school. I think coaches are father figures for a majority of players. The growing number of single-parent homes is forcing young men to find that father figure in their life. Most athletes who don’t have a father turn to their coaches as mentors and father figures. I don’t think coaches have a choice on this matter. Coaches are always judged by how many games they win on the field or court, but never does the public eye see the rest of the job. I know personally, this is why I choose to coach for a living. I enjoy assuming that role for these young men. There is no better enjoyment in this business than seeing a young man in high school become successful in life and a positive contributing member of society because of the impact you had on his life. Growing up with my father, I saw how he impacted so many young men’s lives, and I wanted to do the same for our communities.”

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Jimmy Fields, Whitefield Academy

“There is no greater honor than being a young boy’s coach —- father figure —- as he develops into a young man. It is flattering to enjoy winning games, seasons and championships, but to make a difference in a young person’s life has real eternal value that goes beyond this life.”

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Tony Byram, Crawford County

“My definition of a father figure is one who tells you what you need to hear and not always what you want to hear … and someone who uses a combination of tough love and compassion to help a young person mature. In that regard, any mentor, whether it be a coach, pastor, math teacher or fishing buddy, can serve as a father figure. As coaches we should all preach coach Erk Russell’s No. 1 rule: ‘Do right.’ When we have to discipline our players, it is because he or she ‘did wrong.’ And just like with our own kids, the methods are sometimes not appreciated until much later in life.”