Abstinence band aid

Akron, Ohio —- Abby Wilson wears a sterling silver ring shaped like a flower on her right hand. It’s an outward symbol that tells others the 15-year-old is saving herself for marriage.

“I have many friends [boys and girls] with purity rings,” said the high school sophomore. “I call it my self-respect ring.”

Abby bought the ring a few months ago while vacationing in Florida. It’s not a typical purity ring, which generally are bands engraved with words such as “True Love Waits” or simply “Purity.”

At Grismer’s Religious Gifts in Northfield, Ohio, manager Casey Grismer said many teens, like Abby, are buying the rings for themselves. She believes it’s a sign the days of free love are a thing of the past.

“I think kids now are starting to understand the ramification of being promiscuous,” she said. “Maybe it is just wishful thinking, but I get a ton of kids asking me for the rings.”

Originating in the ’90s, the ring, with a religious foundation, has taken on a Hollywood flair. “American Idol” winner Jordin Sparks, members of boy band the Jonas Brothers and Selena Gomez, star of Disney Channel’s “Wizards of Waverly Place,” have donned the jewelry. That has helped popularize the rings with teens.

Once fashionable with Baptists, the rings are a hit across denomination lines. In the past couple of years, Jeff West, a business owner and jewelry sales representative, estimates more than 100,000 rings have been sold nationwide.

Megan Elavsky said many of her friends, whom she defines as morally strong, received purity rings for their 16th birthdays.

“I think it’s a great reminder if you wear it daily,” the 18-year-old explained. “I personally don’t think I need a ring to know my values.”

Abby and Megan are part of a newspaper readers’ group of kids who suggest stories that affect their lives.

Normally, the rings are worn on the left hand. But Abby said she felt “weird” about putting the ring on a finger generally reserved for a wedding band.

In some areas of the country, father-daughter purity balls or dances are held in honor of the young women and their pledges to remain virgins until their wedding day.

The young women wear up-dos and formal gowns, and the fathers, often dressed in tuxedos, promise to be responsible men of integrity and to support their daughters in their vows of chastity. Sometimes the girls say their oaths aloud, but more often it’s done silently.

“I … don’t think I would want to go to a purity ball because I have already promised myself to wait, and my parents know and trust that I will keep that commitment,” said Abby. “I love my dad and all, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable talking to him in such detail about sex.”

Though much less popular, there are also mother-son purity events for boys.

Last year, about 4,700 purity balls were held, reported the National Abstinence Clearinghouse, a resource center that distributes information on sexual abstinence.

Another local teen said she doesn’t like the idea of the dances, or the rings.

“While I respect people who wear them, it is simply not my cup of tea,” said the home-schooled 15-year-old. “I’ve already lost my virginity, and I’ll probably lose it again before marriage. So, there’s really no point in me wearing one.

“And by what means do people call virgins ‘pure’?”