THE VENT

In the last 20 years, cars have gotten smarter and people dumber. In my book, that’s not progress.

I sure hope that the pensions and benefits for our Congress aren’t adversely affected by the crash that has ruined everyone else.

Do you remember when people went to bed with a cold? Now they show up at work and infect everyone.

I haven’t felt well lately, so instead of seizing the day, I’ve been “sneezing the day.”

Bonjour! Since Obama’s policies are going to make the United States more like France, I thought I’d learn the language.

Dubya beat McCain in 2000 and also beat him again in 2008.

If Sarah Palin is the future of the GOP, looks like I’ll be voting for the Democratic ticket in 2012.

Never has there been a more important moment in time to believe in the phrase “united we stand, divided we fall.” Do you hear that, Nancy Pelosi?

It’s time for us all to stop being Republicans and Democrats and start being Americans again.

After you have pressed the lock button on your keyless remote and heard the horn beep, it is not necessary to press it again. It is not locking your doors any tighter, and it just disturbs the neighbors.

Does the cost of the welfare system equal the price of the Wall Street welfare bailout?

Bankers … can’t live with them, can’t live with them.

CEOs think the solution to every problem is to hire a higher-paid CEO to fix it.

I’m worried about my patriotism. I keep forgetting the Alamo.

A TV reporter was telling about the theft of an assault-style weapon from a police car and said the police were worried that the weapon would fall into the wrong hands. If a thief has it, isn’t it already in the wrong hands?

Now that gas prices are down a little, here’s a tip: Every time you fill up, put 10 or 15 bucks in savings. Then, when prices return to $4-plus next year, you will have a cushion. It takes discipline.

The lowering of gas prices lately due to reduced demand should convince conservatives that we can conserve our way out of the energy crisis even with no offshore drilling.

To all those clamoring for universal, government-controlled health care, may I refer you to the VA? They are so tied by government rules and stipulations that they often cannot provide their patients (veterans) what they need.

Insurance to make you financially whole after a loss is not a necessity. Access to health care is a basic function that all developed nations must provide to maintain healthy, productive citizens.

I’m announcing a new incentive program to motivate drivers to choose more fuel-efficient vehicles. If you get better gas mileage than me, I’ll let you into traffic in front of me. P.S.: I drive a scooter.

Need to Vent? Call 404-222-8338; e-vent: vent@ajc.com