THE VENT

Swap Minnesota for Ontario! Heck, I would give the Canadians Minnesota for nothing and throw in Illinois.

My neighbor’s house is for sale cheap —- do you think we can get Clint to move in?

Note to the Vent Guy: Venters don’t own cats. The cats own the venters.

MARTA is closing the restrooms? When were they ever open?

My 6-year-old overheard my husband and me talking about work bonuses. It prompted her to ask “What’s a bonus?” I started my explanation with “Once upon a time …”

If things are as bad as Obama says they are, then perhaps he should pass the plate at his inauguration.

I don’t care if I will never be on the same health plan as Obama and Daschle. At least there is hope for me now, though. I’ll take any coverage I can!

Get out your boats, Lake Lanier is rising.

The reason 80 percent of the TV ads are for full-size trucks and SUVs is because the Big Three want to get rid of those first before they start making the kind of cars we want.

Why would Laura Bush “dump” her devoted, loving husband for any reason, money or otherwise? A better question is why Hillary Clinton didn’t dump hers a long time ago.

I believe “outraged” is the most overly used word in today’s news media, not “impact.”

Let me add my two cents to the predictions going around. The economy in ‘09 will be good —- except when it isn’t.

The reason our ancestors didn’t have arthritis is they barely lived past growing pains and acne.

To that hostess who always offers 5:30 or 9:30 for dinner reservations —- we’ll be taking our business elsewhere. Many good restaurants are more accommodating —- especially in these economic times.

So I did my taxes yesterday. Apparently, I owe the state of Georgia $8, meaning that every week, the state forgot to take 16 cents out of my paycheck. Is it worth it to collect that $8?

I have been riding Obama pretty hard, but he now has my sympathy as I heard his mother-in-law is moving into the White House.

The CIA pick is irrelevant. After all, President Obama will ignore all intelligence, just like he claims he’d have done for Saddam.

If I print worthless bank notes, the government calls it counterfeiting. If the government prints worthless bank notes, they call it deficit financing. Go figure!

Please do the Atlanta “No Pants Day” during the summer. At least people would have a tan then.

Thanks for the heads up about the late fees from AT&T. Since I always pay my bill on time, I didn’t know anything about it.

Obama should thank Dubya every day. Even when he performs poorly, Obama will look like a genius in comparison.

Ryan Seacrest is very good at what he does, but what he does isn’t very important.

Need to Vent? Call 404-222-8338; e-vent: vent@ajc.com