How to explain a slim Christmas to the kids

Cynthia Mincey broke the unbelievable news to her four children: Santa Claus was tightening his belt.

She fought back tears as she explained the not-so-jolly reality. Money is tight at home, and the economic meltdown has reached the North Pole.

“Daddy lost his job and the economy is not so good and Santa has a lot needy kids to see this year,” she told her three youngest kids, who are 3, 6 and 13.

She braced herself for broken hearts and crestfallen expressions from her children, who are accustomed to ceiling-high piles of gifts.

The response was a surprise.

“My 6-year old daughter, Keonya, turned to me and said, ‘Mama, it doesn’t matter if we have any gifts under the tree or not. All that matters is that we are together, that we are happy and a family.’ … I looked at her little face and I could tell she really meant it. It took everything I had to not cry right then and there,” said Mincey, of the South Georgia town of Alamo.

Christmas this year may be tinged with anxiety, and some sadness, for families facing a lean holiday season. A recent American Psychological Association survey found half of parents with children at home are stressed about not having enough money to buy gifts.

But for some, the slumping economy has shifted the focus away from the commercial to priceless family moments — such as singing Christmas carols, decorating gingerbread houses and visiting Nativity scenes — rekindling the true spirit of Christmas.

Scott Spiker, chief executive officer of First Command Financial Services, sees a silver lining in cutting back during the holidays. In past years, many overdosed on shopping, impulsively snatching up toys and knickknacks. That excessive spending, he believes, watered down the magic of the season.

“When abundance is all around us, the experience can be less,” said Spiker, whose financial planning business is headquartered in Texas and has four offices in metro Atlanta. “For the last couple of years, my family has focused on experiences like making a dinner together or going to see a play. It’s more affordable than gifts and it contributes more to memories.”

Despite the bad economy, or perhaps because of it, Kristin Sharma of east Cobb finds herself more sentimental and thankful of holiday traditions. When her family of four recently decorated the Christmas tree, they played Christmas carols, sipped hot chocolate and paused as they pulled ornaments out of the storage box. They laughed at the ornament of Santa dressed in Georgia Tech garb, given to them from Sharma’s parents many years ago. They giggled at a Santa Claus figurine she crafted way back in kindergarten with a toilet paper tube.

“In the past, I’m not so sure we would have stopped everything. It was more like, ‘OK, it’s done, let’s go on to do homework.’ But this year, I feel like we are slowing down and really appreciating it,” she said.

Sharma said the times have made her more reflective. Her husband’s employer, a software company, has had layoffs recently, and she watched a neighborhood family pack up and move to Florida after the father lost his job.

“We feel like no one is exempt [from economic woes], and you really just have to be grateful for what you have,” said Sharma, mom to daughters Pria, 6, and 19-month-old Anita.

And in that same spirit, she pulled $100 from the family budget for kids’ Christmas gifts and donated it to a needy family at the Catholic Church of St. Anne.

For Maria and David Peagler of Big Canoe, this year’s holiday called for only a minor adjustment in expectations because they have always kept gifts in check.

The Peaglers apply the “three wise men” rule to presents. Since three wise men brought gifts to Jesus, Maria Peagler said, it makes sense for her sons to also get three gifts.

Still, she has talked to her sons, ages 8 and 12, about everyone — Santa included — being on a tight budget this year.

“They certainly understand with dad a builder, it’s a much leaner year, and we explained to our younger son, Zach, that Santa has costs with the elves and it’s expensive for Santa, and we want to help him out and not ask for things not too expensive,” she said.

Zach’s reaction?

No problem, mom.

And they’ve taken steps to make sure the economic Scrooge doesn’t steal their holiday spirit.

The Peaglers have been busily making Christmas cookies, gingerbread ornaments and paper snowflakes.

“And my favorite tradition is getting together with my cousins Christmas eve,” said Sam.

Zach addded, “me, too.”

On Christmas Eve, the Peaglers visit nearby family and play games including Pictionary and a Guitar Hero music video game tournament. (Kids always win).

Back in Alamo, Mincey was trying to whip up a Christmas miracle. She’s been baking and selling red velvet cakes to earn money for gifts for her kids. She’s also been selling on etsy.com hand-printed T-shirts with the slogan, “The sky is the limit, there is nothing you can’t do, just believe in yourself and focus, then watch all your dreams come true.”

Despite scaling back on gifts, she finds this holiday proceeding like a dream for her family.

“You teach your kids that Christmas is not about the gifts and it’s about the birth of Jesus and spending time together as a family, and you wonder if they are really getting it,” Mincey said. “And to hear your kids say it doesn’t matter if they get gifts on Christmas day… . Christmas is about special things happening, so maybe Santa hasn’t forgotten about us after all.”