When parents are jailed, children left traumatized

Tabitha Jackson sees her infant son, 2-year-old daughter and 7-year-old son through a thick pane of glass on days when the Gwinnett County Detention Center allows visitors.

She hasn’t cradled them, combed their hair or kissed them goodnight for eight months.

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Phil Skinner/pskinner@ajc.com

Diane Nilan interviews Gwinnett County Jail inmate LeKiesha Deal about her children for a documentary to help children who are homeless because of parents in jail.

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Phil Skinner/pskinner@ajc.com

Gwinnett County Jail inmate Tabitha Jackson is on the video screen during an interview with Diane Nilan.

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“It’s so hard to just watch them walk away and I can’t even hug them goodbye,” Jackson, awaiting trial for burglary, said Friday, her eyes moist with emotion and her green prison jumpsuit the lone splash of color in a spare, cinderblock room. “It’s the hardest thing about being here.”

You might say, given the criminal charges that put her behind bars, that Jackson and incarcerated parents like her are undeserving of pity.

But then you’d be overlooking the children.

Diane Nilan, president of a nonprofit organization called HEAR US, says most people have never stopped to consider how profoundly children are affected by a parent’s incarceration. Not only are they traumatized, they are often forced to move and change schools when sent to live with friends or relatives.

“This is a population everybody sort of missed,” said Nilan, whose organization assists homeless children and teens. “People tend to go ‘I had no idea’ when I tell them about it.”

Nilan filmed female inmates at the Gwinnett jail on Friday as they talked about how their incarceration has affected their children. The footage will be included in a documentary she is producing called “REACH-Connect Your Children to School,” as part of a program to restore access to education for children who fall under the definition of homeless because their parents are in prison.

Even the most hardened of inmates soften at Nilan’s approach. Everything about Nilan appears relaxed and unassuming. She avoids talking about the inmate’s offenses and assures them that their images will be used “respectfully.” She only wants to hear about the kids.

“I appreciate you being brave enough to do this,” Nilan told a Buford woman who spoke frankly about a history drug addiction that devastated her family.

Rachel Schell, 34, of Norcross, told Nilan that one of her sons has been living with her mother near Norcross since she’s been behind bars. The other son moved in with her grandmother in Elijay. Being separated from each other and from their mother has taken a toll, Schell said.

The 15-year-old “withdrew into himself,” while the 10-year-old has been acting out. Nilan nodded knowingly.

“I think he feels like he’s different and he’s all by himself,” Schell said of her 10-year-old son, who was recently suspended for school for hitting another student. “I’m sure in his little mind he feels like his whole world is gone.”

Nilan helped to write and pass a piece of federal legislation called the Education for Homeless Children Act in 2001. The law gives homeless children of jailed parents the right to be enrolled in the school nearest to where they are currently living without delay, even if their caregiver cannot immediately provide immunization and school records. It also makes such children eligible to get transportation, free lunches and other forms of assistance to help them achieve academic success, Nilan said.

Children also aren’t required to switch schools, even if they had to move to a new district up to an hour away because of their parents’ incarceration, Nilan said.

She said speaking out on behalf of an estimated 3 million homeless kids in America has been a more rewarding job than any she could imagine. It’s what has kept her criss-crossing the country for the past four years, visiting jails and schools as their advocate.

In the end, though, Nilan believes the children and parents are their own best spokespersons. Cue the camera.

For more information on the documentaries, Hear Us or its REACH program, visit www.hearus.us