Neal Boortz: Hey, Sonny, how about the fast lane?

By Neal Boortz

For The AJC

For a few months now I’ve been asking Gov. Sonny Perdue if he would like to take a little ride with me on I-75. Just a quick trip down to Macon and back to Atlanta.

Here’s why:

On May 5, Perdue signed the so-called “super speeder law.” The law provides for an extra $200 fine on drivers who get caught doing 85 mph or more on expressways; 75 mph or more on two-lane roads. Purdue said that the law was an “attempt to slow high-speed drivers and reduce high-speed crashes and trauma injuries.”

Nonsense.

The governor was simply trying to raise revenue. Why else the excited announcement that the new law would raise $23 million in fiscal year 2010?

If speeding killed, the countryside would be littered with dead jet pilots.

I could spend the rest of my allotted space here citing some of the studies that have shown that speeders aren’t a major cause of traffic accidents. What a yawner. The studies are out there, though. Perhaps you would like to take the time to read the National Motor Vehicle Crash Causation Survey released by the U.S. Department of Transportation on July 15, 2008.

Then again, maybe not.

If you were so inclined, you would read that speeding accounted for only 5 percent of “pre-crash events.” A Virginia DMV report said that speeding caused about 2.9 percent of crashes in 2007.

Yeah, we really need that super-speeder law.

Actually, it’s more like we need the money.

So what if Gov. Perdue does decide to take that little jaunt down to Macon and back with me?

First, I’d ask for immunity. We’re going to speed on the way down. On the way back, we’ll stick to the speed limit. Maybe I’ll get him to drive.

On the way to Macon, my goal will be to drive up to 20 mph above the posted limit. Yup — that means 90 mph, well above the super-speeder 85 mph threshold.

Here’s what the governor will see: When I encounter traffic, I’ll slow down. No tailgating. Give me an open lane, and I’ll flip on the winkers (Brit term, I love it), move over and let ’er rip.

All the way to Macon not one single driver will have to change what he or she is doing because of my driving. Not one driver will have to change lanes or slow down to avoid me. I’ll open it up when I can, go with the flow when I must.

The governor will enjoy the ride. After all, he’s a pilot and we’ll be flying low.

In Macon we’ll hit a Waffle House and fuel up. A bowl of chili and a grilled cheese ought to do it. Then, on the way back to Atlanta, we’ll crack a window and it will be speed limit all the way. I’ll hang in the second lane from the right so I don’t have to mess with merging or exiting traffic. Since I won’t be driving a Buick or a minivan, we’ll stay out of the left lane. We’ll put the governor’s head on a swivel so he can see what’s happening to the traffic around me. He’ll see other motorists having to constantly change lanes to get around me. Sometimes they’ll use signals; sometimes not. Several times he’ll see some other motorist take evasive action to get out of the way of another driver trying to get around me. By the time we get back to Atlanta we’ll both be nervous wrecks.

Speeding tickets are easy for law enforcement. Aim your radar gun, pull ’em over and write the ticket. Targeting people who change lanes without signaling, follow too close, fail to yield the right of way and who generally can’t control a car presents greater challenges in traffic court.

Look — love the cops; really do. That guy writing me a speeding ticket (haven’t had one in 15 years) would stand between me and a bullet if need be. But when he’s sitting there writing me a ticket for speeding he’s a tax collector, not a law enforcement officer.

You want to save lives, governor? Ban the use of hand-held cellphones. Not all that flashy, but it would work.

Neal Boortz’s column will appear every Saturday. For more Boortz, go to www.boortz.com.