Thinking Right

By Ragnar Danneskjöld

December 26, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this

Good morning all, trust all are enjoying a wonderful Christmas. Re the KB Homes comment, Dr. Sowell published a great line recently: ““It is fascinating to see that politicians whose interventions in mortgage lending have created a disaster in financial institutions are now moving on to intervene in the automobile industry.”

Leftists over-credit Obama for his efforts to avoid Jimmy’s “largest error,” the latter’s over-representation of Southerners in his cabinet. The Democrats’s preference for identity-politics is the only basis for “concern” over the absence of Southerners. I am more distressed by the absence of thinkers who understand what motivates an employer to hire. Southerners disproportionately comprise the latter, as we have been the growth area of the US for the past generation. One more recent and great Sowell quote: “Ronald Reagan had a vision of America. Barack Obama has a vision of Barack Obama.”

West Bank fathers are the same ones who, reflecting on their progeny, wistfully note, “they blow up so quickly.”

Wilbanks represents the best of the nonpoliticians in the arena, or perhaps is America’s least bureaucratic bureaucrat.

The IRS bureaucrats who manufactured the $1 billion “fraud” report seek more funds and political leverage to harass Americans. A smarter course would be to eliminate income taxes entirely, and put the tax burden on the spenders, via a sales tax of some form. And it would not require as much audit funding as IRS currently uses.

I don’t know how to interpret Jim’s note on GM/Chrysler and Morris Brown. Is GM/Chrysler supposedly a “Morris Brown without the intelligence,” or is Morris Brown the “GM/Chrysler without the sterling product?”

I’ll bet Toyota is profitable in the US, and that their losses are primarily due to moribund Japan. Even as GM is profitable world-wide except in the US.

“Spinning rims” are an appropriate symbol for FNMA and FHLMC, and those government policies that brought those to the taxpayer.

I enjoyed the Sullivan piece the other day, urge all to follow Jim’s link. Not a fawning piece, but a well-considered writing.

My advice to Mr. Holyfield – as if he would listen to me – would have been the same as Jim’s, except I would have eliminated the portion that begins with “guys” and ends with “especially.” And I would illustrate the argument with a film clip of Ali from anytime in the past 10 years.

By Maniac is accurate

December 26, 2008 11:29 AM | Link to this

Dang, bad news about Aaron Rents. I was going to rent you some spinners for your John Deere. Better luck next year, Woot.

By Maniac is accurate

December 26, 2008 11:33 AM | Link to this

Here’s another Palin piece on CNN’s web site

By The BlogFather of Scroll

December 26, 2008 1:05 PM | Link to this

Sarah Palin deserves credit for surviving so many self inflicted shots in the foot! Not to mention fending off the infections from so many of her own feet in her mouth, and the hoof-in-mouth disease that can follow.

Sara is her own worst media assassin, The glass-eyed moll, going of half-cocked about so many topics. Saying all the wrong things in all the wrong places.

Liberals: I order you now to lay off Palin. We need her intact in case she runs for prez later. If you thought she was the best thing Obama had going for him last november, wait’ll you get a load of her as the front runner.

Dream candidates like Palin come along for the liberal cause once in a hundred years.

Palin ‘12: The Glass-eyed Moll. (The Crassy Moll works too.)

bwa

By ron

December 26, 2008 1:27 PM | Link to this

Good afternon———To some people,football is a serious spectator sport.But not people that carry a puny .32 auto.Real fans sport a .44 Desert Eagle.

The housing market is so saturated with units at the moment that even the numb ones can figure it out.

No Southerners in Obama ‘s cabinet.It will take a brave soul to analyze that fact.

Since the shoe thrower can have four wives,there’s still three more slots available.

Watch J.Alvin Wilbanks.There are already rumors of paperwork not from memory but imagination.

A law firm that holds prices down is a news item.Someone finally said”we make enough”? Not hardly.There’s another angle.

Renting furniture never occured to me.Now that it has,it won’t again.

Toyota lost $2 billion due to the value of the yen.It made a small profit in the U.S. Hyundai also lost ground.

I don’t plan on buying a GM car anytime in the future,so I don’t really care what they do.I’m starting to see some inteeresting prices on new Rangers.Maybe—-But probably not.Mine’s good for another 10 years.

The UAW says no to wage cuts.That’s the opening round.More rhetoric to follow. Maybe they figure that since all the big shots have their pockets full,maybe it’s time for more trickle down.

Interesting things happening in Pakistan and Israel.Stay tuned.

By Santa

December 26, 2008 2:31 PM | Link to this

Ga. Values, you were right about the “baking,” on Christmas Eve. I may not be able to wait a full year for a repeat. So, it’s Christmas in July at your house next year.

By Churchill's MOM

December 26, 2008 2:49 PM | Link to this

Large numbers of Americans are facing the new year with trepidation. Many of them, laid off from work as the holidays approached, are gearing up to go looking for new jobs in the teeth of an ongoing economic downturn. Many of the people who have jobs have legitimate worries about how long those jobs will remain secure. And even those with secure jobs have real worries about their wages remaining stagnant.

There is one group of Americans, though, for whom stagnant wages aren’t a concern at all. The 535 members of the Congress of the United States are scheduled to get a $4,700 raise in January, on the backs of those Americans who are struggling to keep their households functioning in the currently unpleasant economic climate. That increase will boost the average salary of senators and representatives to $174,000 per year, up from the current $169,300.

Congress made its annual cost-of-living increase automatic in 1989, thus shielding members from having to vote on whether to give themselves the yearly salary hike, courtesy of the American taxpayer. Of course, Congress isn’t bound to the shameless secrecy of the cost-of-living adjustment, and there have been any number of attempts, from within its own ranks, to put the legislative branch on record as to which of its members are willing to fleece taxpayers to boost their salaries.

For the past eight years, Rep. Jim Matheson, a Utah Democrat, has filed a bill that would do away with the annual cost-of-living adjustment. During the past two years, no fewer than three lawmakers - Indiana Republican Rep. Dan Burton, South Carolina Republican J. Gresham Barrett and freshman Arizona Democratic Rep. Harry Mitchell - have filed bills with the same goal.

All of them have gone exactly nowhere, though Mitchell’s bills have at least garnered double-digit co-sponsorships. The bill he filed last year got 29 co-sponsors, while this year’s bill attracted 34 co-sponsors. For the record, neither of Mitchell’s bills found much support in Georgia’s House delegation. Georgia Reps. John Barrow and Jim Marshall, both Democrats, signed on to Mitchell’s 2007 bill; only Marshall is listed as a co-sponsor to this year’s bill.

It is utterly unconscionable for members of Congress, who ought to be serving as examples as this country grapples with its economic turmoil, to take a salary increase - gutlessly, under the cover of a procedural darkness - as untold numbers of Americans are facing the specter of joblessness.

Yet that is exactly what they’ve done. They’ll be billing the American people $2.5 million for a pay hike of nearly 3 percent. It’s a hike they could, and should, forgo, coming as it does on the heels of a year in which 1.9 million Americans lost their jobs.

It’s doubly unconscionable that Congress has no qualms about taking the pay raise even as its approval ratings - essentially, how the American public rates its job performance - dipped again into single digits.

According to a Rasmussen Reports survey conducted last week, just 9 percent of Americans think Congress is doing an acceptable job - 2 percent of survey respondents rated congressional performance as “excellent,” and 7 percent rated it as “good.” Meanwhile, more than half of respondents, 54 percent, rated Congress’ performance as “poor,” and 35 percent gave Congress a “fair” rating.

When members of Congress return from the holiday recess next month, their voice mail, e-mail and regular mailboxes should be filled with messages from taxpayers demanding they take a public roll-call vote on whether they will accept a pay raise they clearly do not deserve.

By Kent

December 26, 2008 3:30 PM | Link to this

Kudos to the Gwinnett County School Board for having the backbone to take local responsibility for their educational resources and kids.

By Kent

December 26, 2008 3:31 PM | Link to this

Kudos to the Gwinnett County School Board for having the backbone to take local responsibility for their educational resources and kids. Finally someone is beginning to get it!!

By Kent

December 26, 2008 3:50 PM | Link to this

The UAW/CAW has driven the American auto industry into the ground and now it doesn’t want to negotiate? It doesn’t want to reduce it’s benefits that have killed it’s entire industry? I don’t know whose worse? The auto industry executives or the UAW. They’re both greedy as hell and neither will do what’s best to save the industry that employs them both. Ron Paul is right…..“In bailing out failing companies, (the government) is confiscating money from productive members of the economy and giving it to failing ones. By sustaining companies with obsolete or unsustainable business models, the government prevents their resources from being liquidated and made available to other companies that can put them to better, more productive use. An essential element of a healthy free market, is that both success and failure must be permitted to happen when they are earned. But instead with a bailout, the rewards are reversed – the proceeds from successful entities are given to failing ones.” How is this going to help our economy?

By Ga Values

December 26, 2008 3:59 PM | Link to this

Santa 2:31 PM

Man you are hard up, my mistress has a fine looking 22 year old sister, I could hook you up..

By Santa

December 26, 2008 4:03 PM | Link to this

OK man, I appreciate it. But I’m still coming to your house in July.

By yankee

December 26, 2008 4:15 PM | Link to this

If you want to comment on the UAW check out the Detroit Free Press on line. You can comment on any article in the paper. Something that would be great fun here.

By Ga Values

December 26, 2008 4:18 PM | Link to this

Santa 4:03 PM

Be sure you pick the 2 weeks a month she is home. I’ll go into Atlanta for the week & you can have as much fun as possible with a 60 year old woman.

By Kent

December 26, 2008 4:45 PM | Link to this

Churchill’s MOM,

You’re so on the money! The Members of the United States Congress have long been out of touch with the vast majority of thier constituents they represent. In 2007, the median US household income was slightly more than $50,000 with less than 2% of all households in the the United States making over $250,000. Not only is our Congressman and Senator bringing home more than our entire family but we’re also paying for his healthcare and various other government perks. Don’t forget the extra special gifts provided by the numerous special interest groups courting his vote. Does your Congressman know what it’s like to struggle to put groceries on the table this week? Does he know what it’s like to have to miss the mortgage payment this month? Does he know what it’s like to not be able to afford health insurance for your family?

I propose single term limits for Congressional seats. Our government was originally established to be representative of our nation’s people. We have instead turned into a people with a perceived ruling class of politicians. Politicians are nothing more than people with opinions. We don’t need Senators or Congressmen serving for 10 or 20 years. That’s an accumulation of power. What we need is to keep the influence of special interests at a minimum and American accomplishment at the forefront. We can accomplish both goals by continuing to infuse new ideas into Congress with a truly representative and particpatory branch of governmment. Congressmen vote pay raises in secret because they’re ashamed to do it in the broad daylight! They don’t want anyone to know they’ll take it for the job they do. Let them know you’re ashamed of them too!!

By Dusty

December 26, 2008 6:11 PM | Link to this

*On the first day of Christmas my true love said to me: A partridge in a pear tree. What shall it be, GM or Chrysler for thee? A foreclosed mansion on a mortgage free? And I said to he, Have you not heard of the economee?? and he said, that’s right, oh honeybee!! So we had a merry Christmas with Manichevitz and fruitcake, and we had a merry time ‘til Santa said “For goodness sakes! Give this thrifty family those sweet cup cakes. Then we gave Santa some mighty handshakes. And we all enjoyed Christmas for our good credit’s sake!!

Well, I hope all of your had a great Christmas as we did. But down to the nitty gritty:

Lawyers lower their hourly rates. You mean $150/hour was too much?

Morris Brown? I don’t know who Morris Brown was but I hate to see any educational institution fall by the wayside. Sorry, Morris, you tried.

No Southerners in the Obama Cabinet? Of course not. Chicago politics never met the standards for good Southern leadership. Sutherners see the writing on the wall and it is scary. Never step into a mess.

Margaret Thatcher? One of my favorites. A women with good standards and a strong mind and spine. Sarah Palin does have a resemblence with a subtle charm that dares the snooty celebs to show their artificial anxieties for the teflon and the showboat. The more they shower their insults on Sarah the more she shines.

To you ,Jim Wooten, best wishes and continue the good work. Let the light shine!! Maybe EVEN the libs will catch on afterwhile, sometime, eventually, after all and some day. Hugs and happiness to you and all the bloggers here (even libs!).

By dustbuster

December 27, 2008 8:19 AM | Link to this

Dusty is so entertaining after a snoot full of cheap wine.

By ron

December 27, 2008 8:50 AM | Link to this

Good morning all,I see Dusty has a uique slant on the no Southerners in The Obama cabinet.Quite unique.

Listened to some gentlemen? from the ratings companies again last evening.Same story.Everyone lied.Move along folks,nothing new here.

GMAC as a bank holding company should be interesting.There’ll be no limits to the money that can be pilfered.

Somewhere in the not too distant future,the bill for all this is going to come due with a bang.I’ve lost track of what the real bill is and I’ll bet I’m not alone.

By Churchill's MOM

December 27, 2008 9:21 AM | Link to this

Kent 4:45 PM

I will never understand why so many people who call themselves Conservative voted to re elect a crook like Saxby the Socialist. Go figure. We really need term limits. I would like for congressmen to be taken off federal health insurance and given $4,000 to buy their health care and another $5,000 to fund their retirement.

By Bob Hess

December 27, 2008 9:47 AM | Link to this

Does Congress deserve a raise this year? Arizona Democratic Rep. Harry Mitchell introduced a bill that would have stopped the automatic cost-of-living raises that go to members of Congress each year, but the bill never made it out of committee. As a result, our senators and representatives are set to see their salaries go up by almost $5,000 in the coming year.

America, it’s time for everyone to oppose giving Congress a pay raise. The time has come for Congress to show it’s serious about addressing the economic downturn in this country. Members of Congress should be looking at reducing their salaries and cutting staff positions, as our government has grown to become an oversized, underproductive and corrupted machine. The time has come for our representatives and senators to lead by example. The days of tough talk and no action must come to an end.

Recently, I watched our senators and representatives belittle the CEOs of the Big Three automakers on national TV, slamming them for their ridiculous salaries and lavish lifestyles and telling them to take drastic steps to save their companies. But the first thought that came to my mind was the fact that lobbyists for the automobile manufacturers have been filling Congress’ pockets to turn a blind eye for years. We knew the gas-guzzling automobiles produced by Detroit were a problem in 1977, yet 40 years later, the problem persists.

This country’s economy won’t be fixed until Congress cleans up its own corruption and does the job its members were elected to do.

By ron

December 27, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this

It’s A-OK for lawyers to charge 150-500 plus dollars per hour for their services.They’re not unionized.Unlike union members,they have families to support and medical needs.They have overhead.Houses to pay for and car payments.College tuitions to save and investments for retirement to look to.Unlike union members ,lawyers are im-por-tants.They really matter in the vast scheme of things.Union members only build and maintain America.They don’t do great deeds like lawyers.Not one union member has represented a client in a divorce.Just think of that.

By @@

December 27, 2008 10:05 AM | Link to this

Someone was shot in Clayton County? Now THAT’S something a person can make book on.

It’s been said (I don’t know how true it is) but our former B.O.C.s were enticed with federal monies to encourage the building of affordable homes. Clayton County has more than we need and, as recently as last year, had the highest foreclosure rate in the nation. “No good deed goes unpunished,” eh Jim?

Well of course there are no southerners in Obama’s cabinet. He’s one of those “snooty” leftists.

I watched a video of Iraqis offering their opinion of the shoe thrower’s antics. All but one (an old codger) were appalled, and thought his (the shoe thrower’s) punishment was appropriate. So like the old codger, our leftists are resistant to change?

Education to be measured by the results they produce I’m trying to think how Gwinnett’s approach could work down here in Clayton.

Still thinking….

Chorey, Taylor & Fell…..a “personal injury” firm?

More resources/money will help eliminate IRS/government incompetence/waste? They do have standards to maintain.

This is where I have to share a personal experience. Went to pay my property taxes. I was the only one in line…..walked straight to the counter, avoiding the roped off maze. Chose one of three clerks doing nothing. I was quickly told that I must retreat to the location where the sign read Wait here to be called

My turn…..IDIOTS IN GOVERNMENT!

So what are you saying, Jim…..Morris Brown, like GM, doesn’t crank out the “engines” that will drive our economy?

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING!!! Aaron rents spinning rims? How does a company convince their customers that that’s a “wise” decision? Let me guess…..Aaron tells them that it will give the perception that they’re constantly “on the move”? UNBELIEVABLE!!! Talk about willing victims…

The foundation on which Sarah Palin’s are built will prove sound.

Evander is looking to “reproduce” yet again? Eight children total….five out of wedlock. Is he behind on child support or does he have a death wish?

Hope you and yours had a wonderful Christmas, Jim.

By Jim is a caveman

December 27, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this

Jim, just saying that Sarah Palin is like Margaret Thatcher doesn’t make it so. How is she like Maggie? Maggie didn’t spend a lot of time shopping, she didn’t say stupid things about russia, she had original thoughts, she could answer a question coherently. How is Sarah, who led the league last season in self-inflicted wounds, like Maggie? Anyone can say anything they like. Proving it is another story. I believe a more reasonable and provable comparison is Dan Quayle. though I do concede it is like that Sarah can spell potato.

By Jim is a caveman

December 27, 2008 10:24 AM | Link to this

Sorry, but I rushed it a little. Should be “Russia”, “Quayle,” and “likely”.

By Bob White

December 27, 2008 12:20 PM | Link to this

EVERYONE in congress should be limited to two terms - The first one in Washington, the second one is prison!

By catlady

December 27, 2008 1:49 PM | Link to this

Could we middle class people just get a list of the individuals we are bailing out, and send our money directly to them to avoid the middleman? (ie, John Smith, 401k stock, each taxpayer give him 2.00, Jane Doe, AIG stockholder, 1.25, etc) Or maybe they could bill us?

I am currently working on a song to the tune of the Peter, Paul, and Mary hit “How many roads must a man walk down”, but with up to date lyrics. Anyone want to suggest a line? It looks like with the bailout increasing, it will be a VERY long song.

By @@

December 27, 2008 1:59 PM | Link to this

“How many roads must a man walk down”…

before the sign reads “Dead End”

Catlady:

Somewhere in the lyrics, you need to include the line, “fartin’ in the wind”.

By The BlogFather of Scroll

December 27, 2008 2:02 PM | Link to this

The Forgotten Messiah reminisces about creation and the supreme beings….

If God had a talk show, and his Ed McMahon were Satsn, then each night’s opening monologue might go something like this: “It’s the Too Righteous Show with God. I’m Satan, along with the Too Righteous Show band welcoming God and his guests, Don Rickles, Don Adams, and The Don. And now, heere’s God!….”

(applause, then screams of horror as locusts, pestilence, and frogs start raining from the ceiling onto the live studio audience….)

“thank you, ….oh stop, the frogs are props, come on, we wouldn’t do that, stop it, go away, enough,….okay. Well, it’s been a quiet news day. Not much happening, I see president elect obama has selected his insiders circle, and everyone agrees this transition is one of the smoothest ever….I tried selecting an insiders circle once, at the beginning, but then somebody ruined it, oh, I’m not petty enough to name names, I dont wanna go there, okay if you insist…SATAN!

Camera to satan, “hough houw, ho cuckle chuck.”

god: “Hey, about that rebellion, just what would you have done if you won instead of me, no really, I’ve always wanted to ask you, I mean, what? You didn’t like the boiling point of water? What, You dont like the table of elements? What could I have overlooked that you would do better, really….”

How about EVERYTHING! Everything is wrong. I mean look at man. Two arms, two legs, and only one head? WTF? You’re a moron.

“You’re a bigger moron. You actually tempted my son with riches and wealth, and you thought he’d go for it. You wasted your one trip to earth that century. What a dope.! What a fallguy! What a maroon!”

“Yes, I did fall for that, but what about you? You had the greatest saint in Job, and yet one little logic test from me and you crumbled. You’re so insecure. I mean, why torture the poor sot just because I teased you about it? You’re the fallguy. I didn’t have to lift a finger. You ruined him and put him through bloody hell. and for what? To show me up? That’s your problem. You always have to win. You’re a little, little God.”

“Oh you must really have it socked away somewhere….”

Okay, we’ll take this station break and be right back. Dont go away….

Having trouble sleeping? Has the Bush Economy got you worried? Sorry you mixed politics with religion? Then try Jesus. You’ll sleep better after you hear what he said about salad: “Give to Ceasar what is Caesars and to Cobb what is Cobb’s” About evolution: “Let he who is without fins cast the first stone”.

Yes, try Jesus, and sleep.

“We’re back. Okay, so you dont like the human body? What up with that?”

Satan: “People hate their bodies, they starve themselves to look thinner, they hate their clothes, their hair, their face…”

GOD: “Look, people are stuck on the earth, and because of original sin, they aren’t allowed to go anywhere. The appendix is the ankle bracelet location device of the soul. Human’s cant figure out what the appendix is for. It’s so’s I know where they are. If they escape earth’s electro-magnetic field, an alarm goes off, and I can track them down instantly. Humans aren’t going any where. I’ve sentenced them to earth! “

“Dont be so sure. They’ve already solved most of the problems for inter-stellar travel. All they need is the math.”

“Yes, the math, but we’re not going to let them have the math, are we….SATAN?”

“Of course not, I would never use this telecast to give away formulas. There’s no way I’d double cross you, after all, I signed a contract, and on page 32 it clearly states, “E=MC2 is wrong, people. It’s MX/2=EC2. Bwa.”

“YOU FOOL, NOW THEY’LL BE LIKE GODS. I’LL HAVE TO DESTROY THEM ALL.”

Camera to God, walking down from the stage into the live studio audience, conjuring up the spirits of destruction to destroy planet earth, live on TV….

SATAN: “Sorry, God, another commercial break…..People, god will destroy earth……right after this…….”

Camera to audience, in panic, like the best scenes from the original Godzilla movie in the fifties.

GOD: “Where you gonna run to? You cant escape. Just sit there and take it like a mankind. I promise it will be quick”

Satan: “So I’m doing the Too Righteous Show, and suddenly people start screaming, God destroys the world, he ruins the show, we dont get renewed, I mean, God was out of conTROL!”

Camera blacks out…..

By @@

December 27, 2008 2:03 PM | Link to this

Oh, and those ^^^ lyrics, “How many roads must a man walk down” originated with my guy, Dylan.

The Answer is Blowing in the Wind

By @@

December 27, 2008 2:09 PM | Link to this

How’s it goin’ PoliFore?

By catlady

December 27, 2008 2:10 PM | Link to this

Thanks, @@

Anyone know why the bailmeisters push the Big 3 to get rid of their corporate jets, but the Wall Street recepients still have and use their fleets of jets?

By @@

December 27, 2008 2:20 PM | Link to this

You’re welcome catlady.

Why some and not others? Because Paulson had successfully convinced some that Wall Street was a necessity. Then the public “gets wind” so the tough guy approach ensues.

As far as I’m concerned, they’ve been “pithin’ in the wind” with all of ‘em.

By catlady

December 27, 2008 2:33 PM | Link to this

Tough guy approach, heh?

Two of the Big 3 “We need a h3ll of a lot of money or we will go under”

Government “Can’t do it. You’ll just have to go bankrupt”

Big 3: “Waahh! I’m gonna tell on you”

Government “Okay, here is a h3ll of a lot of money. Come back in a couple of months and get more.”

It is hard to imagine a worse fiasco than the meltdown, but the bailout has proven to be a million times worse, and with compound interest it will balloon into the absolute worst crisis the US has ever seen when the bill comes due.

The old “Marry in haste and repent at leisure” thing.

By catlady

December 27, 2008 2:41 PM | Link to this

Re: Morris Brown is planning a rally today to raise money to pay on the water bill.

What is next? A bake sale each month to pay the faculty? January: English, February: math, ….

By The BlogFather of Scroll

December 27, 2008 2:52 PM | Link to this

The Forgotten Messiah reminisces about creation and the supreme beings….

If God had a talk show, and his Ed McMahon were Satan, then each night’s opening monologue might go something like this: “It’s the Too Righteous Show with God. I’m Satan, along with the Too Righteous Show band welcoming God and his guests, Don Rickles, Don Adams, and The Don. And now, heere’s God!….”

(applause, then screams of horror as locusts, pestilence, and frogs start raining from the ceiling onto the live studio audience….)

“thank you, ….oh stop, the frogs are props, come on, we wouldn’t do that, stop it, go away, enough,….okay. Well, it’s been a quiet news day. Not much happening, I see president elect obama has selected his insiders circle, and everyone agrees this transition is one of the smoothest ever….I tried selecting an insiders circle once, at the beginning, but then somebody ruined it, oh, I’m not petty enough to name names, I dont wanna go there, okay if you insist…SATAN!

Camera to satan, “hough houw, ho cuckle chuck.”

god: “Hey, about that rebellion, just what would you have done if you won instead of me, no really, I’ve always wanted to ask you, I mean, what? You didn’t like the boiling point of water? What, You dont like the table of elements? What could I have overlooked that you would do better, really….”

How about EVERYTHING! Everything is wrong. I mean look at man. Two arms, two legs, and only one head? WTF? You’re a moron.

“You’re a bigger moron. You actually tempted my son with riches and wealth, and you thought he’d go for it. You wasted your one trip to earth that century. What a dope.! What a fallguy! What a maroon!”

“Yes, I did fall for that, but what about you? You had the greatest saint in Job, and yet one little logic test from me and you crumbled. You’re so insecure. I mean, why torture the poor sot just because I teased you about it? You’re the fallguy. I didn’t have to lift a finger. You ruined him and put him through bloody hell. and for what? To show me up? That’s your problem. You always have to win. You’re a little, little God.”

“Oh you must really have it socked away somewhere….”

Okay, we’ll take this station break and be right back. Dont go away….

Having trouble sleeping? Has the Bush Economy got you worried? Sorry you mixed politics with religion? Then try Jesus. You’ll sleep better after you hear what he said about salad: “Give to Caesar what is Caesars and to Cobb what is Cobb’s” About evolution: “Let he who is without fins cast the first stone”.

Yes, try Jesus, and sleep.

“We’re back. Okay, so you dont like the human body? What up with that?”

Satan: “People hate their bodies, they starve themselves to look thinner, they hate their clothes, their hair, their face…and WTF is the appendix? ”

GOD: “Look, people are stuck on the earth, and because of original sin, they aren’t allowed to go anywhere. The appendix is the ankle bracelet location device of the soul. Human’s cant figure out what the appendix is for. It’s so’s I know where they are. If they escape earth’s electro-magnetic field, an alarm goes off, and I can track them down instantly. Humans aren’t going any where. I’ve sentenced them to earth! “

“Dont be so sure. They’ve already solved most of the problems for inter-stellar travel. All they need is the math.”

“Yes, the math, but we’re not going to let them have the math, are we….SATAN?”

“Of course not, I would never use this telecast to give away formulas. There’s no way I’d double cross you, after all, I signed a contract, and on page 32 it clearly states, “E=MC2 is wrong, people. It’s MX/2=EC2. Bwa.”

“YOU FOOL, NOW THEY’LL BE LIKE GODS. I’LL HAVE TO DESTROY THEM ALL.”

Camera to God, walking down from the stage into the live studio audience, conjuring up the spirits of destruction to destroy planet earth, live on TV….

SATAN: “Sorry, God, another commercial break…..People, god will destroy earth……right after this…….”

Camera to audience, in panic, like the best scenes from the original Godzilla movie in the fifties.

GOD: “Where you gonna run to? You cant escape. Just sit there and take it like a mankind. I promise it will be quick”

Satan: “So I’m doing the Too Righteous Show, and suddenly people start screaming, God destroys the world, he ruins the show, we dont get renewed, I mean, God was out of conTROL!”

Camera blacks out…..

By Glenn

December 28, 2008 1:32 PM | Link to this

At least you got the Einsteinian sgit right. I can say that, having completed my “Einstein for Dummies”. But where you go right-est is where you go wrong, from him. We really have no effing idea which way is up. And that’s not bad, as long as it’s not alone.

Even Professor Hawking spent half his life going in, the rest going out, and now it seems that he hasn’t begun to exhaust the possibilities. For Heaven’s sake, what’s it all for?