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DEL.ICIO.USLast minute advice for Sarah
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Joe Biden’s job is to show up, keep the smirks to a minimum, and try not to be himself.
Sarah Palin’s is to be herself, be disciplined in her responses, and ignore Joe Biden.
He doesn’t matter. Her target is Barack Obama. This debate is about her. And it’s about Obama. Her inexperience is his inexperience, except that she’ll be in training to be the decision maker and he’ll be learning on the job. Plus, she’s done it — made decisions that matter — and he hasn’t. His speciality is Monday morning quarterbacking.
Palin’s target audience is the people who don’t live and die by the day’s polls or those who join advocacy groups. It’s Middle America. They like her. They identify with her. She’s the one person on either ticket they’d like to have over for Sunday dinner.
Last minute advice: Be upbeat, Describe the stakes in the election and the difference that she and McCain represent. Joe’s not there. He’s Washington furniture. Biden’s talked for decades sounding intelligent, but as with Obama, nothing’s come of it.
People are looking for somebody they want to be in their lives for the next four years, somebody they like, somebody whose character and judgment inspires confidence.
In short: Be Sarah.
Comments
By Stop Pretending!
October 2, 2008 5:52 PM | Link to this
Mr. Wooten, she’s read all the magazines and newspapers. She knows what to do.
By Davo
October 2, 2008 5:53 PM | Link to this
Feign death
By Stop Pretending!
October 2, 2008 5:55 PM | Link to this
Mr. Wooten, she’s read all the magazines and newspapers. She knows what to do.
By getalife
October 2, 2008 6:26 PM | Link to this
She will do fine Jim.
Stop whining. She had time to memorize the talking points.
Its not an interview.
I hope they ask her why McCain voted for the 700 billion bailout with another 100 billion of pork attached.
By Andy
October 2, 2008 6:28 PM | Link to this
Buy a clue. Surely, even a Republican blowhard such as yourself realizes she’s a chowderhead.
“Have her over for dinner”? Are you out of your mind? How about “Would like to have over…for a Middle East peace summit”? Or “stewardship of the Congress”? Or “have over with a finger poised on The Button for the hour or two POTUS goes under the knife for some surgery”?
Let me get to the bottom line: Would you trust this woman to manage your 401K? If you say “yes,” you are a liar.
By getalife
October 2, 2008 6:28 PM | Link to this
Nevermind.
Just heard McCain say it was unacceptable to add pork to the bailout. Yet he voted yes.
My head spins.
By Peter
October 2, 2008 6:37 PM | Link to this
Gee Jim……….
She has made some pretty BIG Decisions……..
Shooting wolves from Helicopters.
Running Waleska into debt before leaving office there.
Spending $700.00 a night of taxpayers money for her daughter’s hotel at the Republican Convention.
Keeping the money from the “Bridge to No Where”.
Shooting Bears from Helicopters.
Shooting Moose.
Very Impressive Jim, YES she is ready to be President according to you !
Funny Female voters don’t like her……I guess they vote with their brain Jim……not like a silly guy who thinks she is a MILF !
By George
October 2, 2008 6:40 PM | Link to this
is McCain paying you by the hour, or by the article?
you sound like a drama queen complaining about everything.
stop the drama, vote obama.
By Mavsreader
October 2, 2008 6:43 PM | Link to this
Be upbeat and attack. That’s a tall order.
By Matt
October 2, 2008 6:45 PM | Link to this
Have her over for Sunday dinner…Are you kidding me? A lot of people wanted to have a beer with Bush and look where that got us. I don’t want someone like me. I want someone better than me. Do conservatives have an inferiority complex which makes them mock education and vote for morons? Just wondering.
By KevinA
October 2, 2008 7:06 PM | Link to this
I need to respond when those others raise their heads and try to stop the reform agenda that is so important for the American people. The details are not so important because we all need it. If we are so blessed to to win you will know that I am for you. For those who worry about my experience and knowledge, I say just watch me do it right for the American people. I want to thank you for the chance to explain our campain in such a detailed and informative format.
By Devastator
October 2, 2008 7:18 PM | Link to this
The republicans think women are stupid. The only Palin is on the ticket is for votes. Even if McChicken wins, she won’t have any “real” authority in the White House because her purpose will have already been served.
They would never truly respect her.
By Jim is a caveman
October 2, 2008 7:31 PM | Link to this
How about recommending that she answer a question coherently? That she not tell the moderator “I’ll get back to you”? To not look like a deer caught in the headlights? All that will help more than Jim’s BS.
By Graniteman
October 2, 2008 7:33 PM | Link to this
This debate is a travesty. Gwen Ifill should have been asked to step down as moderator because she has clear financial stake in the outcome of the election. If Obama and Biden win, then she will sell tons of books about obama.
By Jim is a caveman
October 2, 2008 7:39 PM | Link to this
This advice is sure to save the day. I know Sarah is reading this now, wondering why it took Jim all day to lend his expertise to her. I know she didn’t want to hit the boards tonight until Jim weighed in with his sage advice.
By Captain Freedom
October 2, 2008 7:51 PM | Link to this
THE Captain wishes to affirm the suspicion that Gwen Ifill has it in for Sarah Plain. But it is not what most people think, and that is why THE Captain is around…to spell it out for True Believers, liberals, and the rest of you simple simons.
When Sarah Plain was announced, many people wondered why St John had not picked a woman with a track record and a reasonable facsimile of intelligence, someone like, oh Condalezzie Rice. Here was a true blue Republican woman with heavy credentials. But she was passed over for a MILF who fulfilled Johnny Maverick’s sexy librarian fantasy, so Condi was kicked to the curb. Oh yeah, the Godly Christians among us couldn’t stand her cause she’s a shag muncher, not to mention being one of Those People, but try explaining that the her. She can get kind of uppity, just like that obama fella.
But one thing that not too many people know…one of Condi’s true blue BFFs is none other that Gwen Ifill. In fact, Ifill devotes a huge portion of her book discussing Rice. (And that nice Colin Powell boy. It appears that Ifill is one of those negro lovers who can’t think of anything better to write about than negroes. Go figure.)
So here is the real reason why Ifill is going to sharpen her claws on Our Sarah tonight…because Sarah stole Condi’s shot at the big show, and now Ifill will never get to visit her BFF at the Naval Observatory. It is from such bitterness that conspiracy is born.
THE Captain believes this theory to be 100% “true”, in much the way Wooten stands behind his columns and St John declares his entire life to be “100% truthful”. Thus saith THE Captain, and it is very true.
But tonight’s Patooie in St Louis compels THE Captain to recall a classic episode of the Beverly Snowbillies. Mr Drysdale was forced to invite Ellie Mae to the big cotillion dance, but everyone was worried about how she might make a fool of herself. Miss Hathaway tried to coach her in the ways of refined talk and such, but that just confused poor Ellie Mae, who ran off crying about not wanting to “put awn ai-ers” and Uncle Jed said, “Jes let Ellie be Ellie.” And because Jed was the richest sumbotch in the room, everyone did what he said and lapped his nutsack like it was covered in honey (which it was, some days), even though the guy was as ignorant as bag of rocks about anything not to do with shooting at little furry creatures.
Anyway, back to the story. Well, comes the night of the big ball, and lo and behold, there was Ellie Mae, with her t|ts pushed up higher than a kite and her pert round ta tas pointed proudly at the sun, and wearing a dress that really showed off the shape of her rump, arched like a baboon in estrus. Well pretty soon, all the hoity toity Hollywood cocktail party boys were tripping over their peckers to get a dance with Ellie, and hardly anyone noticed that she was an ignorant Bible thumping backholler peckerwood who didn’t know her bun?hole from her va-jay-jay, what with all that abstinence-only home schooling from Granny. But she was cute, and just like Dusty (except for the cute part), so everyone laughed and Mr Drysdale made her Vice President in charge of Mortgage Loans for his bank. And the rest is, as they say, history.
And that’s how it is going to be tonight. So saith THE Captain, and it is very true.
By Captain Freedom
October 2, 2008 7:54 PM | Link to this
THE Captain wishes to affirm the suspicion that Gwen Ifill has it in for Sarah Plain. But it is not what most people think, and that is why THE Captain is around…to spell it out for True Believers, liberals, and the rest of you simple simons.
When Sarah Plain was announced, many people wondered why St John had not picked a woman with a track record and a reasonable facsimile of intelligence, someone like, oh Condalezzie Rice. Here was a true blue Republican woman with heavy credentials. But she was passed over for a MILF who fulfilled Johnny Maverick’s sexy librarian fantasy, so Condi was kicked to the curb. Oh yeah, the Godly Christians among us couldn’t stand her cause she’s a shag muncher, not to mention being one of Those People, but try explaining that the her. She can get kind of uppity, just like that obama fella.
But one thing that not too many people know…one of Condi’s true blue BFFs is none other that Gwen Ifill. In fact, Ifill devotes a huge portion of her book discussing Rice. (And that nice Colin Powell boy. It appears that Ifill is one of those negro lovers who can’t think of anything better to write about than negroes. Go figure.)
So here is the real reason why Ifill is going to sharpen her claws on Our Sarah tonight…because Sarah stole Condi’s shot at the big show, and now Ifill will never get to visit her BFF at the Naval Observatory. It is from such bitterness that conspiracy is born.
THE Captain believes this theory to be 100% “true”, in much the way Wooten stands behind his columns and St John declares his entire life to be “100% truthful”. Thus saith THE Captain, and it is very true.
But tonight’s Patooie in St Louis compels THE Captain to recall a classic episode of the Beverly Snowbillies. Mr Drysdale was forced to invite Ellie Mae to the big cotillion dance, but everyone was worried about how she might make a fool of herself. Miss Hathaway tried to coach her in the ways of refined talk and such, but that just confused poor Ellie Mae, who ran off crying about not wanting to “put awn ai-ers” and Uncle Jed said, “Jes let Ellie be Ellie.” And because Jed was the richest sumbotch in the room, everyone did what he said and lapped his nutsack like it was covered in honey (which it was, some days), even though the guy was as ignorant as bag of rocks about anything not to do with shooting at little furry creatures.
Anyway, back to the story. Well, comes the night of the big ball, and lo and behold, there was Ellie Mae, with her t|ts pushed up higher than a kite and her pert round ta tas pointed proudly at the sun, and wearing a dress that really showed off the shape of her rump, arched like a baboon in estrus. Well pretty soon, all the hoity toity Hollywood cocktail party boys were tripping over their peckers to get a dance with Ellie, and hardly anyone noticed that she was an ignorant Bible thumping backholler peckerwood who didn’t know her bun?hole from her va-jay-jay, what with all that abstinence-only home schooling from Granny. But she was cute, and just like Dusty (except for the cute part), so everyone laughed and Mr Drysdale made her Vice President in charge of Mortgage Loans for his bank. And the rest is, as they say, history.
And that’s how it is going to be tonight. So saith THE Captain, and it is very true.
By Commander Guy
October 2, 2008 7:57 PM | Link to this
Wow. Congrats, Jim. You finished tomorrow’s column about how well Mooseburger did in the debate early and had time to whip out this little ditty, too.
I know Sarah appreciates any help she can get.
By getalife
October 2, 2008 8:03 PM | Link to this
I was wrong. Not 100 billion but 150 billion added pork to the 700 billion.
I hope they address McCain’s flip flop on this issue. He spewed no pork but voted yes.
It is up to around 1.2 trillion so far so I guess they could not rob enough with Iraq. Its not just wall street but foreign banks too. I guess you can call it a globalization bailout.
She should ask them when we will collapse like other failed States.
By Dusty
October 2, 2008 8:20 PM | Link to this
Jim Wooten talks about Sarah Palin. The Captain who is definitely”Private Freedom” wants to talk about the “Beverly Snowbillies”. GrandPa Freedom had to tell you all about the TeeVee show of long ago but he doesn’t know a hillbilly from a hoedown.
The point is (if there is a point for Ol’ Pa Freedom) Sarah Palin is one attractive governor that Americans enjoy. Kinda like the Reagin personality. He was ONLY a movie star and ONLY a governor but Americans loved him and they still do. Sarah Palin has that appealing honesty and humanity that Reagin had.
Well, the Cap’, skipped his usual degenerate dialogue so we can be thankful for that. Let’s watch the dabate and hope, as Wooten did…that Sarah will be Sarah ‘cause she’s a winner.
By Captain Freedom
October 2, 2008 8:20 PM | Link to this
AH-HAHHH!!!
THE Captain has just discovered that Gwen Ifill’s book will also include chapters on Michael Steele, JC Watts, and Ken Blackwell.
What is it with this woman and negroes, anyway?? No way a Godly White Woman will get a fair shake tonight.
So saith THE Captain, and of course, it is very true.
By Dusty
October 2, 2008 8:36 PM | Link to this
getalife,
I just watched three univsity professors in finance and economics.(Lehrer News Hour) All said they did not like the plan BUT two of them said it was absolutely essential to stop the hemorrhaging at this time.
McCain was probably convinced at some point that SOMETHING had to be done. So he voted for it as the last resort.
But I’ve with you on those additions the Senate added. Maybe the one about 250K bank insurance was Ok but the rest was rediculous. They slipped right back into “pork”.
Why ask Sarah Palin a fake question? What states have failed? What European country? You are singing your same old song & dance: the sky is falling!! Nope!!
By Captain Freedom
October 2, 2008 8:39 PM | Link to this
Oh Dear Lord. It is worse than He thought.
THE Captain, intrepid sleuth of the internets, has discovered that not only is Gwen Ifill obsessed with negro politicians, she is in fact herself a black negro person herself.
Well, that tears the biscuit! THE Captain suggests that McPalin suspend their campaign and get to the bottom of this conspiracy!!!
You islmunistodemocrats would scream bloody murder if your precious saviour Obamandingo were forced to debate in front of a white moderator. Where is your sense of fair play now, traitors?
By Dusty
October 2, 2008 8:43 PM | Link to this
Go burn a cross, Captain Crooked. Your histrionics smell decidedly and dastardly like a lib rubbing two sticks together. Go soak your head.
Is RedNeck gonna show up tonight also? Or Commander Guy??
I’m waiting for the debate.
By jack
October 2, 2008 8:51 PM | Link to this
Yes, Jim, I hope she is Sarah. A woman who went to 5 never heard of colleges for six years to graduate.
Obama went to Harvard Law School and graduated Magna cum Laude.
Sarah wants Creationism (an absurd notion of Bible thumpers) to be taught in SCIENCE class.
Sarah is against ALL abortion even in cases of rape and incest. Yes, compassionate conservatism at work: force a 13 year old girl to have a baby when she’s been raped or molested.
Sarah forget to talk about the second bridge to nowhere (close to her home town) that is still in the works: $400 million to an island of 200 people.
Yes, lets hope the real Sarah shows through.
By Reg L
October 2, 2008 8:59 PM | Link to this
Jim, Jim, Jim. Do you actually believe this crap you write or are you trying to do what kids do..misbehave to get attention. From the pic in the article, you look like you could be Palin’s grandfather. With that said…get off her jock cause she’ll never give you any nooky for being in her corner. You are so Pro-Palin that it makes me wonder what your ulterior motive is. Tonight you will see the Empress has no clothes. This is 5 minutes from debate time, and she is going to get her Alaskan A@# kicked. Lipstick won’t save her tonight. Have some warm milk and take your old pathetic butt to bed. Night-night
By Soulfinger
October 2, 2008 9:06 PM | Link to this
I hate the sound of her voice!!!!
By ripkelly
October 2, 2008 9:17 PM | Link to this
dem’s term “fairness” = redistribution of wealth. call it what it is.
carry on….
By McHater
October 2, 2008 9:26 PM | Link to this
Very soon, Sarah will have plenty time to come over for dinner. I hope she brings the beer & wings
By southern
October 2, 2008 10:01 PM | Link to this
jim, you sure do draw out the vulgar side in all these dumb liberials, it don’t matter what the subject.
By rustylynn
October 2, 2008 10:07 PM | Link to this
It’s a bloodbath.
Sarah is slaughtering Biden on all points.
By 40 hrz a week
October 2, 2008 10:11 PM | Link to this
I am watching the debates and Palin isn’t answering the questions. She is just going for the talking points she can remember. Biden speaks a plan and she hits the Bush talking points… Sarah Puppet is what I call her. Can you see Super (I’m Always Right 100%) Mommy as the President???? Another Bush if you ask me…
By Hillary Supporter
October 2, 2008 10:11 PM | Link to this
Palin is kicking Biden’s a*!!!…OMG and Biden is supposed to be a expert debater?? He has been debating like his whole 50 years and getting his a* kicked… Damn he sucks…I would so rather have the Straight talker as my President….and Im a democrat!! OMG I dont want Biden Obama…Go Sarah!!
By Hillary Supporter
October 2, 2008 10:12 PM | Link to this
Palin is kicking Biden’s a*!!!…OMG and Biden is supposed to be a expert debater?? He has been debating like his whole 50 years and getting his a* kicked… Damn he sucks…I would so rather have the Straight talker as my President….and Im a democrat!! OMG I dont want Biden Obama…Go Sarah!!
By The Truth Hurts
October 2, 2008 10:16 PM | Link to this
Biden is getting beaten by a first time Woman debater…Wow…..The Obama team has to be so dissappointed with this guy…He acts like a angry old man….getting his butt wipped…She is so much more real like me…not some stuff shirt double talking phoney…SARAH FOR PRESIDENT!!!
By The Truth Hurts
October 2, 2008 10:16 PM | Link to this
Biden is getting beaten by a first time Woman debater…Wow…..The Obama team has to be so dissappointed with this guy…He acts like a angry old man….getting his butt wipped…She is so much more real like me…not some stuff shirt double talking phoney…SARAH FOR PRESIDENT!!!
By The Truth Hurts
October 2, 2008 10:16 PM | Link to this
Biden is getting beaten by a first time Woman debater…Wow…..The Obama team has to be so dissappointed with this guy…He acts like a angry old man….getting his butt wipped…She is so much more real like me…not some stuff shirt double talking phoney…SARAH FOR PRESIDENT!!!
By rustylynn
October 2, 2008 10:17 PM | Link to this
the moderator is doing a good job despite my anticipated fear