A truly sensible stimulus plan

Dear President Obama:

For the next bailout, I propose something I call the Individual Stimulus Plan. I propose that you send me $1 million and I will promise to spend it within one month.

With the $1 million, I would start by paying off my mortgage. Think what this could mean to the banks and construction industry!

For the auto industry, I would buy myself a new car, and one for my wife. Needless to say, both would be American. For the retail industry, my wife has volunteered to spend a healthy portion of our “cash infusion” at local shopping centers on clothes, jewelry and housewares. I will reserve some of the money for hardware supplies and electronic gadgets. I promise to eat dinner out during the month, frequenting the finest restaurants and giving them a needed boost.

The leisure industry also needs a lift so we plan on taking a family vacation to visit areas hit hardest by the economic crunch, such as Florida, Hawaii and our relatives in Michigan. The entertainment industry will also need a pop, so I will buy baseball and basketball season tickets.

To support the health industry, we will look into some plastic surgery and join a health club with a private trainer. With the money left over, I will make sure to contribute to all the good causes that come to my door, which will include a Girl Scout cookie order for 100 boxes.

The $1 million won’t do too much, so you will need 799,999 volunteers to do the same thing. Finding those volunteers in a country of 300 million may be difficult when you impose a few constraints:

1. Only one participant per household.

2. No one may participate with a household net worth of over $1 million.

3. Must be a U.S. citizen (our money, we spend it).

4. Must not be incarcerated (can’t spend it anyway).

5. Must not have appeared in newspaper tabloids within the past two years (these people have no sense, don’t involve them).

6. Must not be a corporate officer of a failed Fortune 1000 company.

They must spend the money in one month or return the remainder. They must buy American — no international property, no Lamborghinis, no trips abroad. The purchases must be consumable with the exception of their homes — no stocks, no investments.

President Obama, when this congressional stimulus bill fails, turn to the people. As you say, the time to act is now! I will be looking for my check.

• Mike MacManus lives in Norcross.